Lashing Out and Latching On
by IBrokeThe4thWall
Summary: Donnie just wanted to work on his projects peacefully, but his little brothers accidentally destroy all of his progress. In his upset, Donnie lashes out at all of his brothers, declaring they aren't family and tearing a massive rift between them all. Will his brothers ever forgive him? Join Donnie as he tries to reclaim his family, one brother at a time. (Turtle Tots AU)
1. Chapter 1: The Fight

**This story was inspired by the wonderful fanart by tallgirl14 on Tumblr. You guys should totally check out her work! Now, without further ado, onwards with the turtle tots drama!**

 **Disclaimer: The characters and the artwork that inspired this fanfiction do not in any way belong to me. I have permission from the artist to reference her works.**

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Chapter One: The Fight

Donatello was in his lab, tinkering contentedly on a new invention that was going to make life in the sewers just a little bit easier for him. He had complete focus on his task and was nearly done with the internal wiring. The little soft-shell would have finished the wiring, too, had he not suddenly felt like someone was watching him. Given that his dad was unlikely to abandon the television to get him until mealtime, Donnie could only assume it was one of his brothers coming in to pester him to take a break. But he couldn't just stop now! He was so close to finishing this machine, and his family would be a little more comfortable as a result. Try as Donnie might to stay focused on handling his machine, his concentration slowly began to slip away towards whomever was behind him.

"What do you want," Donnie groaned, looking over his shoulder to see, "Leo?"

The red-eared slider grinned when his brother finally acknowledged him and said, "I wanna see what my twin is up to! Whatcha working on?"

"We're not twins, and this is something that takes a lot of concentration," Donnie said, trying to ignore Leo's presence and return his focus on his invention. "Go away."

It didn't work, and Leo naturally didn't listen to the order. Instead, he came further into the lab and started browsing through all of projects and machines on the floor and shelves. Donnie clenched his fingers around the tools in his hands, his eyes started to pull every few seconds towards Leo's wandering form, and his skin and shell began to itch underneath the surface where he _just_ couldn't quite reach.

 _Why won't you just go away? I can't focus with you here._

"Hey," Leo crowed, pointing at something on the desk Donnie was working on. "What's that thing?"

Donnie looked up as Leo started crowding around his workspace, hovering over the domed metal beside his current project.

"It's a prototype shield for my shell that I'm working on. I can have something stronger than a backpack for protection," Donnie grumbled. "Please. Go. Away."

"Whoa, cool!" Leo admired the work in progress, completely ignoring Donnie's order. He even climbed on top of the desk to get a better look at it. "Do you need any help with it?"

"No," Donnie said shortly. "Get out."

"What's going on?" Mikey asked as he peeked in from the doorway.

"I'm playing 'Lab Assistant' with Donnie," Leo announced. "Wanna join in?"

"Yay!" Mikey cheered as his little legs carried him to the other two turtles. "Donnie wants to play with us!"

 _No, no, no! No, I don't! Leo was bad enough, but now Mikey's here?! Leave me alone!_

The itching was getting worse, almost a burn now. Donnie couldn't focus on anything more than holding onto his project thanks to his brothers' mere presence interfering with his work. Why did they always do this? Why couldn't they leave him alone when he was inventing things? Was a little bit of solitude too much to ask for?

"What can I do to help?" Mikey asked.

"You can both get—" Donnie tried to order them to leave again, but Leo cut him off.

"You can help me get a better look at Donnie's project here," Leo said, pulling Mikey up onto the desk.

 _Go away already!_

Wait, maybe Donnie could ignore his brothers to the point that he wouldn't be able to notice them. Maybe that would make the unbearable itching go away. Taking a breath, the soft-shell redoubled his efforts to focus on the completion of the invention in his hands. He pretended that he couldn't see Leo and Mikey out of the corner of his eye, lifting his prototype shielding onto its edge, as he soldered wiring into place. He pretended he didn't see them struggle with the unexpected heftiness of the metal dome when he got up to put away his welding tools. However, he could _not_ pretend that their shouts after loud _clanging_ and _shattering_ rang throughout the lab while his back was turned didn't happen.

Donnie took a short moment before he slowly turned around. Leo had leapt off of the desk and was yanking Mikey after him, but Don didn't see that. All he could see was his prototype shield wobbling over the _shards_ of what remained of his newest invention. He went numb. It had taken him months to get all of the parts for it, weeks to gather enough gas to light his welding tools, days of laboring over it in his lab; and in seconds, it was gone. The burn became a blazing _inferno_!

"Donnie," Leo tried to get his attention, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Donnie, I'm sor—"

Donnie slammed his fist into Leo's face, knocking the blue-clad turtle onto his shell. Don was quick to hold Leo down with one hand to land more blows, but Leo was also smart enough to try pushing Don back with a foot planted on the purple-masked turtle's plastron. Leo winced as another hit landed on his cheek, but it did nothing to dampen Donatello's anger. Donnie had been focused, Donnie had almost finished his invention, Donnie had told him and Mikey to leave! But instead of listening to him, this blue _pain_ and the orange _baby_ came in and ruined _everything_!

"Raph!" Mikey wailed over Donatello's snarling.

Don kept swinging until the hulking eight-year-old known as Raphael yanked him to his feet. Raph pressed Donnie's shell into his side with a one-armed embrace, most likely to calm Donatello down. But Donnie didn't want to be calm. He didn't want to be held back! He didn't want all these people in his lab! He glared down at Leo as he pushed himself into a sit, gripping Raphael's arm tightly with his own.

 _He broke it!_

"Would you two stop it already?" Raph said. He gave both Leo and Donnie a disappointed frown. "Brothers don't treat each other like this."

 _He's right,_ Donnie realized. _Brothers don't act this way. We're different._

Working with his anger and a new twisted logic, Donnie snarled, "That's the thing, we _aren't_ brothers."

Don loosened his grip in the shocked silence that followed his declaration. It was true. They were all as different as four mutant turtles could be. Raphael glanced down at him with surprise, Leo looked up with worry, but Mikey stared on in confusion. Donnie was so mad at everything and everyone that he refused to look at anything or anyone. Just as quickly as the silence rolled in, though, it was broken.

"Donnie!" Raph chastised sharply.

"It's the truth," Donnie groaned to the ceiling. "None of us are related!"

"We aren't brothers?" Mikey asked slowly, softly, in a tone begging for Donnie to be lying.

Instead of bringing the soft-shell down from his upset, all the question did was feed Donatello's anger. _Are you stupid or something?!_

"You never thought it was weird that none of us look alike?!" Don asked incredulously before sweeping an arm out towards the youngest turtle. "You're the only one who can fit in his shell. If we were related, we all could!" _Or none of us could._

He didn't care about the way Mikey seemed to shrink without going into his shell; he didn't hear Raph saying "Donnie, stop" halfway through his rant. All Donnie could see was his invention broken due to Leo's carelessness, all he could hear were his frustrated and angry thoughts, and all he could feel was the need to make them leave him alone!

"Raph is only one year older than me and Leo," Don continued, "and he's twice as big!"

"That's enough!" Raphael thundered.

Donatello ducked more out of surprise than fear of the shout. Glancing up, he could see the anger simmering in Raph's eyes. _But it's not enough! They're still here!_

"I didn't ask for you to be here," Don edged on. "I didn't ask for you to boss me around, or to bother me when I'm working, or to be general pains in my shell!" He saw the other three flinch. Good. Time to put the final nail in the coffin. "I never asked for any of you to be my brothers! Now _get_ _out of my lab_!"

A silence as thick as New York's smog filled the room. It was so heavy that even the quiet whirrs of old computer fans sounded like gale-force winds and the gently vibrating equipment rumbled like an earthquake. However, Donatello didn't feel even a hint of satisfaction from his statement. He regretted it almost immediately, in fact. The flaming rage inside of Donnie was doused the moment he heard a small sniffle from the youngest turtle in the room.

"I'm sorry," Mikey whimpered. His shoulders were bunched up, and he was looking at the ground while grabbing his elbow. Arms suddenly dropping, he looked up at Don with eyes overflowing and choked out, "I didn't mean to—" Mikey broke off with a sob and ran out of the lab wailing.

Donnie's heart sank further when he saw how glassy Leo's eyes were. Leo hadn't said anything after Raph broke up their fight. Now, he finally stood to he feet and quietly left the lab just as Donnie had told him to so many times before. Only Raphael remained. The arm that had been so confining just a moment ago was suddenly gone, and Donatello fell to his knees. He whipped his head towards Raph just in time to see the red-loving turtle stomping out of his lab.

"Raph—"

"Why would you say any of that?!" Raph cut him off sharply. "Do you really think—?!" He took a deep breath, and said, "You better find a way to fix this with Leo and Mikey, or you really won't have any brothers in the end."

Donnie heard the anger and hurt in Raph's voice and saw the tears making their way over red fabric. The fire that had been put out by Mikey's tears reignited with a vengeance, directed this time at Donatello himself. A few bitter tears slid down his cheeks when Raphael left his sight. He returned to his desk and flipped the shield off of his ruined project to better assess the damage. Four foot-long fragments of the technological bō staff prototype he'd been building remained intact while many metal shards lay scattered between the pieces. His heart hit the pit of his stomach.

 _How am I going to fix any of this?_


	2. Chapter 2: Avoidance

**In case it wasn't clear from the previous chapter, these are the Rise turtles. You guys should check out tallgirl14 on tumblr. She has some really great fanart that you need to see. This is also posted on AO3 under the same username.**

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Chapter Two: Avoidance

 _"I didn't ask for you to be here."_

The day after Donatello yelled at his brothers, he realized just how badly he had messed up. He hadn't left his lab until he was certain that Raph, Leo, and Mikey were asleep, then he sneaked to his bedroom in what silence a New York sewer had at night. When he left his room after a night of weighty regret and no sleep, Donnie couldn't hear a single noise beyond the constant hum of their father's television. His home was quiet. His home should _never_ be quiet. Mikey should be rustling paper and shouting excitedly while showing off his drawings, and Leo and Raph should be arguing over what to eat for breakfast. The soft-shell sneaked down to the kitchen as quietly as he could. Even though he didn't feel overly hungry, he had to see where his brothers were and why they were being so silent.

Donnie just couldn't bear to face them so soon after what he had said, so he stuck to the shadows as best he could and peeked into the room. Raphael, Leonardo, and Michelangelo were all sitting around the island. None of them were speaking or looking at each other. They poked at the food Splinter had scrounged up for them and only occasionally took a bite of it. Maybe . . . maybe now was the time Donnie should apologize. All of his brothers were here, and he had been thinking about how he was going to talk to them all night long since he couldn't sleep. Just as the purple-loving turtle stepped in, however, Raph looked up from his plate and glared at him. He jumped out of his seat and stomped out the other door. Leo glanced towards Donnie and immediately looked away. He slid from his seat and slinked out of the kitchen, going who knows where. Mikey looked confused at first by the others' absence before noticing the soft-shell himself. He yelped and ran from his chair. Donnie barely withheld the urge to flinch when he heard a door slam shut, more than likely the one to Mikey's bedroom.

Donnie felt his heart suddenly constrict with pain from his brothers' flight. He had been so worried about trying to avoid Raphael, Leonardo, and Michelangelo that he never considered that they would be the ones avoiding him. Subconsciously, he knew he deserved it after the way he acted yesterday. He didn't blame them for being mad at him, but why were they treating each other differently? Raph, Leo, and Mikey were tiptoeing around each other for no good reason! Donnie was the one who closed himself off from them. Why were they treating each other like strangers? Donnie quickly concluded that it was his fault. He had torn a giant rift between all of his brothers and himself, and he didn't know how to fix it!

 _"I didn't ask for you to boss me around, or to bother me when I'm working, or to be general pains in my shell!"_

His home used to be loud and full of activity. Too loud, he used to think. Now, there was nothing but silence. Donatello didn't return to his lab after the breakfast incident. It only reminded him of _why_ his home was so quiet. He couldn't hide out in his bedroom either since it was so close to his brothers' rooms. Too close. It was too quiet now, and Donnie never thought that he would come to hate stillness so much. The silence was stifling, and the cold-shoulders that he feared were soul-biting. Ever since that first day, Donatello had been dodging his brothers. He couldn't take going through the same reaction without something inside of him irreparably breaking.

 _But it's no less than I deserve._

Donnie knew that he had to make up for his mistake. Apologize. But what could a mere apology do after what he said? He hadn't disowned his family as much as he declared that they never _were_ one to begin with! In his opinion, there weren't enough words in the world, or in his extensive vocabulary, to take away the damage he caused. There was only one reasonable solution for him at this point: hide somewhere his brothers wouldn't find him and never come out. And there was only one place Donnie knew that his brothers would never go unless it was a life-or-death emergency. They usually went to his lab first for emergencies anyway, regardless of if he was there or not . . . but that was before.

Stocking up on snacks, Donatello ducked into the TV room to wait out the silence with Splinter and his obnoxious game shows. His dad didn't even question why Donnie had suddenly joined him for hours on end; he just put on one of the soft-shell's favorite movies or shows every few hours. Raph, Leo, and Mikey were normally too rowdy to allow their father to fully enjoy his programs, but Donnie was quiet and still. The perfect movie buddy for long marathons of Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim. It wasn't fun in the slightest this time though, not when Donnie was just there to avoid his problems. Not when Splinter would glance at him occasionally when something boring was happening. It got even worse when Splinter would try to get him to take a break for meals. Just the thought of his brothers running away from him again made his stomach heavy and shriveled up his appetite. He blamed it on the snacks he would restock on as soon as the others were asleep.

Speaking of sleep, Donnie almost only slept in the TV room after Splinter went into a milk-and-cake coma. Splinter had told him to go to his room at night the morning he found the soft-shell asleep in the same spot he was in the day before. Donnie had claimed that the beanbag chairs and cushions were much more comfortable to sleep in than his bed, but Splinter was not convinced. However, he didn't push the matter after that. The aging rat told the soft-shell to sleep in his recliner if he was so adamant about staying in the TV room. Only once he was sure that his son was asleep on the warm cushions would the rat mutant go to bed himself.

After days of this routine, Donnie felt like he was drowning in loneliness and his heart crushed by guilt. The Lair was still too quiet. The television seemed to boom like thunder. Raph was out scavenging for more food for the family by himself. Splinter had told the soft-shell about it. Leo was wandering further into the sewers and staying out longer. Splinter had given him the update with some disapproval in his tone. Mikey had sequestered himself away in his room, doing who knows what and refusing to leave for anything but meals and the restroom. Splinter, concerned, had informed Donatello. Splinter had been the one to tell him about what was going on with his brothers. Without fail, on every rare occasion that he left the recliner for food and a proper sleep, Donnie's dad would come back with news about how the other three were doing. Donnie never listened without his guilt and loneliness intensifying.

 _"I never asked for you to be my brothers!"_

What good was an apology at this point? The end result of the fight had been festering for so long now that he was afraid to ask for forgiveness. Donatello was terrified that if he tried to talk to Raph, or Leo, or Mikey, that they would turn their backs on him for the rest of their lives. He would be alone until he died! Donnie whimpered at the thought.

"Alright, it's been long enough," Splinter grunted. "What did you do Purple?"

Donnie blinked. His father was speaking to him while a show was actually on, not during a commercial break or the credits like he normally would. Even with all of his guilt, the soft-shell still tried to play innocent.

"What do you mean, Dad?"

Splinter squinted at him from the corner of his eye. Donnie's "innocent act" was a complete failure.

"You know what I mean," Splinter insisted gruffly. "You and your brothers have been acting weird all week . . . and I'm guessing it's your fault."

Donnie jumped to his feet and asked, "How do you—"

"Why else would you be here hanging with me?" Splinter cut him off with a smirk. Going back to a serious expression, he asked, "So, what happened?"

"I, I, I," Donnie floundered, grasping for a response that wouldn't let on to what happened, that didn't place blame on him even though he deserved it.

Suddenly, images of Mikey's heartbroken tears, Leo's forlorn stare, and Raph's enraged face flashed before his eyes. The intense waves of loneliness and guilt building over a week's time finally hit the peak of their crescendo.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as Donnie wailed, "I was in my lab working on that tech bō prototype it took forever to get the parts for! Leo came in, then Mikey came in, I couldn't focus on anything! I didn't want them in my lab! I wanted them to leave! I told them to leave! They didn't listen! They broke it! I hit Leo, then Raph came, and there were too many people in my space, _my space_ , and I wanted them out! I yelled at them, said things I wish I didn't, made them want to leave me alone, drove them away! It's my fault! It's all my fault, and I don't know how to fix it, Dad! I told them we weren't brothers, and I wish I had kept my big mouth shut! They hate me as much as they think I hate them! They all left before I could try to apologize!" Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and choked out, "I'm so scared."

Splinter hefted his wailing son into his lap with his tail, leaving it wrapped around Donnie's waist as a hopefully comforting weight. Donnie leaned heavily against his father and sobbed away a fraction of his pain.

 _"You better find a way to fix this . . . or you really won't have any brothers."_

"Alright, Purple," Splinter sighed while rubbing his son's soft shell. "let me see if I understand what you're saying. You were stressed out from too much going on around you at once, a falling out with your brothers resulted that involved your sibling bonds, and you've all been avoiding each other because of it. You've been spending your time with me to avoid any confrontation with Red, Blue, and Orange. You are worried that they will reject you even if you apologize. Am I correct?" Donnie nodded. "But you also realize that you need to reconcile with them in order for your bond as brothers to be repaired?" Another nod. "Then stop hiding from your problems! Nothing is going to get better if you and your brothers keep stalling out of fear. You must go to Red, Blue, and Orange and apologize to them as soon as possible. A week has already passed since this all began. If you wait any longer, the damage may be irreparable."

Donnie had known that hiding wasn't going to change anything. He knew that his brothers wouldn't just magically forgive him after the way he acted. That still didn't make working up the nerve to talk to them appealing to him. Why would they talk to someone who supposedly hates them? What would he even say?

"I know, Dad," Donnie mumbled. "It's just really hard to face them after what I said."

"But you will," Splinter stated. "I'll let you stay in here until this program has ended. Once it's over, you will go find your brothers and make amends. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Dad," Donnie, so very reluctantly, agreed.

"Good, and take a shower, too," Splinter said, teasingly tilting his nose away from the turtle in his lap. "I know you haven't bathed since you started hiding out with me."

Donnie gave a small smile and slipped out of his father's lap back to the floor. He watched the rest of the Lou Jitsu movie with growing apprehension. With every passing scene, Donatello came closer to his inevitable fate. He had to find his brothers and make things right with them. He missed them, but that didn't make actually connecting with them any easier. What would Raph, Leo, or Mikey do when he tried to show them how sorry he was for tearing their brotherhood apart at the seams? Would they even want to be his brothers anymore?

 _Please, don't let me be too late!_


	3. Chapter 3: Leo in the Tunnels

**Hey everybody! I'm so glad that you guys are liking this story so much! I hope that you're also checking out tallgirl14's fanart on her tumblr. She's got a lot of really good works up!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have tallgirl14's permission to make fanfiction inspired by her fanart.**

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Chapter Three: Leo in the Tunnels

True to his word, Splinter had kicked Donatello out of the TV room the moment the credits finished rolling. Fear churned in the soft-shell's belly as he glanced around his home, quiet as ever during the past week, looking for any sign of Raphael, Leonardo, or Michelangelo. His dad hadn't told him where any of them actually were at the moment, probably with the intent of making Donnie actively seek out his brothers in order to apologize to them, and it was the middle of the day. Who _knew_ where he would be able to find them?

Wait. Splinter _had_ told him where his brothers were. He'd been trying to encourage his son to apologize without it feeling like a chore or punishment the _entire week_ Donnie was by his side. Raph was always searching for more food for them during the night. Leo was wandering around in the tunnels every chance he had. Mikey was holed up in his room. The three other turtles had made up a new routine to make sure that they didn't run into Donnie or each other. It was upsetting to know that he was the cause of this family-wide self-isolation, but now the purple-clad turtle could try to make things right again. Mikey was the closest one, so he may as well—

A flash of green and blue flitted away in the corner of Donnie's eye. It disappeared in the tunnel leading to the rest of the New York sewer system. _Leo_. Donnie immediately gave chase to his barely-younger brother. It'd been a week. A week of silence, and tension, and avoidance, and fear, and worry, and _stop running away Leo!_

Leo was running as fast as his legs could carry him, and his footfalls were almost as silent as their home. The red-eared slider had taken his week of exploring the tunnels to find new twists and turns that Donatello could not recognize and used them to his advantage. Donnie had nearly lost track of him three times during the chase. The only thing that kept Leo from ditching the other turtle entirely was the volume of his breathing. Donnie felt crushed at the gasping, panting exertion Leo was pushing just to avoid him. The soft-shell was tempted to stop running after his brother, to let him have his peace in the dark sewers he knew so much better now, and . . .

It was quiet again. No nearly inaudible slapping of feet on the concrete. No more gasping for breath from running so fast. Did Leo outrun him? A chill spread throughout Donatello when he realized that he didn't recognize where he was. Twisting his head around and spinning where he stood did absolutely nothing to reorient himself. He had been so focused on following his brother that he didn't pay attention to the directions they ran in. The soft-shell was lost. Donnie wouldn't be able to retrace his steps and get home. He wouldn't be able to find Leo and apologize. _Would it even matter if he did?_ He felt his breath catch in his chest and refuse to ease up.

Before Donnie could sink too far into his fears, he heard something. Movement. The familiar _thunk_ of the rim of a shell dropping to the ground gracelessly. Leo was nearby! There! A massive sigh, from relief or exhaustion Donnie couldn't tell, reached his tympanic membranes, and the purple-clad turtle chased it. Donnie knew that he messed up, and he was terrified that he would never be able to fix his bond with his brothers, but he had to find Leo. He had to tell the blue-loving slider that he hadn't meant to drive him away as a sibling. He had to get his brother back. Running past two more tunnels and taking a right at the bend brought Donatello to Leonardo's side.

Leo was sitting on the ground, arms crossed and hugging his knees to his plastron. He was staring down at the sewer water flowing in front of him. His breathing had eased somewhat, but there was still a noticeable hitch every now and again. There was no way he didn't notice Donatello tentatively walking up to him. The soft-shell was out of breath and panting from the dash through the sewers and the fear of being too late. But he wasn't too late! He could apologize and make things good again.

Only when Donnie sat down next to Leo, the blue-clad turtle stared despondently in the other direction. The soft-shell already felt guilty and scared. Now he could add awkward and lost to his current jumbled emotions because his brother wouldn't even look at him. The feelings intensified the longer the red-eared slider refused to acknowledge the other turtle. Although, if Donnie was completely honest with himself, he would have felt worse if Leo _did_ give him his attention. Why was this so hard? Donnie took a deep breath and sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck. How did he even start to apologize? He was terrible at admitting his own mistakes!

"Leo?" Donnie broke the silence first but trailed off when the other turtle's head lowered further. _I can do this. I can do this!_ "I want to apologize for punching you in the face."

"You don't need to apologize," Leo mumbled, hugging his knees closer to his chest. "I deserved it."

Donnie wanted to say something, _anything_ , to convince Leo that he _didn't_ deserve his stupid barely-older brother's wrath. Leo shouldn't be feeling like he was the bad guy. It was all Donnie's fault. However, the soft-shell didn't say a single thing because Leo had _finally_ looked up at him, and Donnie saw the guilty expression that mirrored his own. _I can't do this!_

Leo kept talking.

"I _knew_ you wanted to be left alone while you worked," he admitted, "but I wanted to hang with you." Leo uncurled just enough to glower at his folded arms and say, "But it ended with me harassing you and tricking Mikey into playing along."

Donnie glanced at his brother with concern, trying to figure out what to do next. He was horrible at comforting his family, and they knew it. Beyond giving pats on the shell or rubbing the top of a head, he had a hard time soothing anyone's upset, especially when he was the cause of it. That was why active apologies that went beyond a simple "I'm sorry" were like ripping out teeth for the soft-shell.

"I tried to fix your machine with duct tape," Leo mumble while curling up into a tighter ball. ". . . It didn't work."

"You're not totally to blame," Donnie said, flicking his gaze to the ground. Honestly, Leo shouldn't be blaming himself at all, but his feelings of shared guilt made talking to him easier. "I should have told you guys that being so close to me as I worked was overstimulating for me . . ." Donnie swallowed his nerve as he pulled at that tooth. "I'm sorry."

Those two words hurt him to say much more than he had initially feared for one simple reason. They were wholly inadequate after the week his family had been through. It didn't feel like nearly enough. It would _never_ be enough. Not after what he did, not after what he said, not after Leo had attempted to make up for his brother's mistakes! A single apology after all of that simply wouldn't do. Donatello needed to yank out more of his soul to show Leo how sorry he really was.

"And I'm sorry for what I said…," Donnie quickly added, turning his head to fully face his brother. "Even if it was true… I said it out of anger…" He took a deep breath and tried to fill his next statement with as much sincerity as he could. "I really am glad I have you, Raph, and Mikey for brothers."

Leo whipped his head around to look at Donnie with surprise and asked, "So we're still brothers?"

What could Donnie possibly say to prove it to Leo that he wanted them to be family? To be brothers? He thought back to the meltdown in his lab and the events that led up to it. In an instant, Donnie knew exactly what he had to say to repair his sibling bond with Leo.

Donnie raised one hand, as though he was about to state an obvious fact, and said, "It's kinda hard to be a twin by yourself."

Leo straightened up and smiled at Donatello. After a full week of silence and self-inflicted isolation, Donnie finally got a full view of one of his brothers' faces. The smile was smaller than his usual grins and smirks, and his eyes still held some hurt. Donnie figured it would be difficult to give a smile of pure happiness when there was still some lingering pain; his struggle with his own tiny grin was a testament to that. However, they were both heartfelt, and after going a week with nothing, the soft-shell would take anything he could get.

Suddenly, it hurt too much for even a small expression of happiness, and both turtles' faces crumpled. Tears streamed down both of their cheeks, and pent-up emotions were finally allowed free. They shot towards each other at the same time, gripping one another in an almost crushing embrace. They wanted to chase away the pain of words and silence and loneliness, to reassure each other that they were forgiven. As much as Donnie usually avoided any kind of hug, he knew that neither one of them was letting go any time soon. They were brothers to the end, twins by both silent and verbal agreement even when blatantly denied. However, the soft-shell still had a lot to make up for and felt it keenly.

"Leo," Donnie choked out, "I messed up so badly."

"I know," Leo said thickly, "but you've got your twin to help you. You know that, right?"

"No," Donnie shook his head in the negative but tried to hold Leo even closer. "I have to do this on my own. This is _my_ mistake. I need to fix it."

"Okay," Leo reluctantly accepted his brother's decision. "I'm here for you, if and when you need me, no matter what."

Donnie pulled back and found that smiling this time wasn't as difficult as before. He looked Leo in the eye and said, "I do need some help getting home. I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going."

Leo barked out a laugh and stood up. Donnie was quick to follow.

"Alright, Leon's got it," Leo said as he led the way back to the Lair. He kept a hold on one of Donnie's hands and squeezed it every now and then. "I can show you all of the neat places I've found later once you've apologized to the others."

"Yeah," Donnie agreed quietly. Leo had forgiven him so easily. _What about Mikey and Raph?_

Leo seemed to pick up on his brother's, his _twin's_ , distress, and cautiously asked, ". . . So, who are you going to next?"

Donnie clutched Leo's hand more firmly and thought about the apologies he needed to make to his other two brothers. Raph was the angriest at him, but Mikey was the most emotionally devastated. The way the box turtle had cried when he ran out, as though he was the sole cause of Donatello's anger, had haunted the soft-shell's dreams. The only thing that had kept him from apologizing to his youngest brother first was seeing Leo run out of the Lair before he got to Mikey's door.

"Mikey."


	4. Chapter 4: Mikey in His Bedroom

**Okay, everyone should know the drill by now. Please go check out tallgirl14 on tumblr! Admire her artwork; it's really good! Come check out my tumblr, too, at webrokethe4thwall. It doesn't have a lot of stuff yet, but I like talking with people!**

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Chapter Four: Mikey in His Bedroom

Donatello and Leonardo reached the Lair after a few minutes of walking through the winding sewer tunnels. They hadn't been as far from home as Donnie had initially believed, but they had taken enough turns to leave him disoriented. It would have taken him forever to find his way back on his own. The two turtles entered their still too quiet abode, but both with hearts a little less heavy than before they had left. The forgiveness that they felt from each other made the silence more tolerable.

"Mikey's been staying in his room for most of the past week," Leo stated.

"I know," Donnie said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Dad's been telling me what you guys were doing since the second day of hiding out with him."

"So, _that's_ where you've been!" Leo crowed.

A shout followed by clattering rang out after Leo's outburst. The twins had been passing by the kitchen and hadn't noticed the green blob sitting on the counter. Mikey was quick to leap down and dash off before either of his older brothers could speak to him. Donnie chased after the box turtle, but Leo stood still in the kitchen doorway.

"Mikey, wait!" The soft shell called. "I need to talk to you!"

"Go away!" Mikey yelled back. "I don't want to talk to you! You _farted_ on our family!" The young box turtle had ducked into his room and slammed the door shut right in Donnie's face.

Leo snickered at Mikey's statement before seeing the way his twin seemed to crumple from the rejection. Donnie watched his chance to apologize to his baby brother disappear before his eyes, but he wouldn't give up on his mission without a fight. He took a moment to shove his negative emotions to a manageable level before turning around and rejoining Leo in the kitchen. They saw a plate laying on the ground and frozen pizza bites scattered over the countertop.

"Looks like Mikey was making himself a snack," Leo deduced as Donnie picked up the plate.

The soft-shell looked at the dish in his hands despondently. Then, an idea began to form, and he gathered all the pizza bites onto the plate and placed it in the microwave. He set the timer and hit start.

"Then someone should take it to him when they're hot," Donnie declared, watching the plate slowly spin inside the appliance. He could probably rig it to heat up food faster, but that was a project for another day.

Leo grinned and walked away casually, saying, "Tell me how it goes. I'll be in the arcade."

Once the food was warmed up, Donnie grabbed the plate and marched to Mikey's room. He knocked on the door. Predictably, there was no response. The soft-shell turtle tested the handle, found that it wasn't locked, and went inside. Mikey was sitting on the floor close to his bed. His shell was to the door, and he was probably pouting now because his solitude was interrupted by the one turtle he really didn't want to see. Donnie gripped the plate holding his peace offering a little tighter.

"Hey, Mikey," Donnie greeted softly. No acknowledgement. Just like Leo had acted at first. So, just like with Leo, the soft-shell pushed on through the waves of awkwardness and upset and made his way closer to Mikey. The small box turtle sent an annoyed glare over his shoulder when the older turtle didn't take his silence as the blatant order to leave that it was. "I brought—"

Donnie looked down when he heard something crinkling underneath his feet. Lifting up a foot, the purple-loving turtle noticed for the first time that the floor was littered with wadded up pieces of paper and torn drawings. It looked as though Mikey had gone to war against his own art!

"What happened to your drawings?" Donnie's heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he realized that the picture he stepped on was one of their whole family, torn into three pieces. It had been one of Mikey's favorite drawings to show off, and Donnie would admit that he favored it as well. Now it lay on the ground, ruined by its creator's own hands.

Mikey hunched a little lower at the intruding turtle's question and mumbled, "I fixed them . . . because we're not a real family."

The soft-shell snapped his head up to look at Mikey's huddled form. His eyes widened with fear and concern. He should have known that the baby of their family would take his emotional outburst to heart. Why _wouldn't_ he? He looked up to the older turtles and thought that everything they said was always fact.

Donnie took a quiet, steadying breath and sat down next to Mikey, saying, "That's a shame because I like all your drawings." _Just the way they were, whole and happy, before I opened my big, stupid, angry mouth._

Mikey turned away. Donnie wondered if this would be the right time to hand over the food. He adjusted his hold on the plate in his lap and was glad to find that, if the heat against his thighs was any indication, the pizza bites were nice, warm, and not dragon-fire hot.

"Mikey?" Donnie asked. He hadn't imagined Mikey would be easy to apologize to, not after having the door slammed on him twice already, but he had hoped that the box turtle would at least listen to what he had to say. "I want to talk about what I said."

"I did what you said," Mikey grumbled. "I left _you_ alone, so leave _me_ alone." He gave Donnie a look that clearly said 'What more do you want?!'

Donnie pulled a card out of the Standard Sibling Handbook™ and scooted closer to Mikey, saying, "But that's why I'm here. I wanted to apologize for how I treated you. I was being a bad big brother—"

"But we're not brothers," Mikey shouted. He pulled into his shell and, as his plastron thumped to the floor, whispered, "You said so."

Donnie sighed. That last statement hurt but helped the soft-shell construct the bulk of his apology. If Mikey was going to be hung up over what _Donnie_ said made a real family, then the soft-shell was going to tell Mikey _exactly_ what defined a real family. Maybe Mikey would forgive him, maybe he would tell Donnie to never come near him again. It didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was making sure that the youngest turtle knew that "family" went beyond genepools.

"We are family, even if we aren't related," Donnie stated, placing the plate of pizza bites in front of the box turtle's shell. He leaned back slightly to collect his thoughts and felt his hand brush against the torn edges of the ruined family drawing. The soft-shell quietly gathered the pieces together while Mikey was distracted by the food. "How I decided to tell you that we weren't related… it was cruel." _And it wasn't my decision to make._

Donnie glanced down and gave a wan smile when he saw two green hands pop out of Mikey's shell, grab two fistfuls of pizza bites, and withdraw again. The quiet chewing relieved some of Donnie's fear. If Mikey was comfortable enough to eat around him, then Donnie knew that he would at least be heard out. He saw a tape dispenser underneath the bed, partially hidden by a low-hanging blanket. Donnie snagged it and got to work, pulling out long strips of tape.

"I'm sorry for ruining your view of our family," he said, aligning the edges of the drawing pieces as best he could. "But just because we're not blood related—" Donnie smoothed the tape over the front and back of the drawing. "–doesn't make us any less family or any less brothers." Donnie set aside the tape dispenser and picked up the repaired picture for inspection.

He deeply wished that the tape had never been needed to begin with. However, the strips of paper held together, and the drawing was otherwise as good as new, in spite of being scarred by tears that should never have been there.

"I don't expect you to forgive me," Donnie placed the forever marred drawing on the ground and stood up, "but you do deserve an apology."

The soft-shell marched towards the door, his sorrow growing with each step he took. Mikey hadn't said anything, gave no indication of forgiveness, and made no attempt to keep the older turtle from leaving. He supposed that they were no longer family in the youngest turtle's opinion. Donnie didn't look back at the little brother who he had hurt so badly. Splinter had been right; he had waited too long. As a result, their bond as brothers had disappeared forever.

He should have looked back. Mikey had been caught up in admiring the taped up drawing Donnie had set before him when he stood up. The box turtle slowly came out of his shell and held the mended paper up. His heart still hurt from Donnie yelling at him a week ago, as well as from when he destroyed most of his drawings during a meltdown a few days afterwards. However, the more Mikey thought about what Donnie had just said and done, the more the pain was soothed into something more bearable. Having a full stomach helped settle some of the mask-less turtle's upset as well.

"Donnie, I—" Mikey began but stopped when he realized that the room was empty besides him and his ocean of wrecked artwork. He was filled with an overwhelming sense of urgency and ran out of his room, repaired drawing in hand, screaming, "Donnie!"

Donatello was halfway to the arcade in order to regroup with Leo when he heard Mikey's shout. He had barely turned around when the box turtle mutant was suddenly latched to his side. The younger turtle pressed his face into the older one's plastron, crinkling paper from clutching it too tightly.

"Mikey?" Donnie asked. He slowly brought his arms to hover over his baby brother's shoulders.

"Do you mean it?" Mikey asked quietly. "Are we really a family? Brothers? Even when I annoy you?"

Donnie finally pulled Mikey into a tight hug and stated, "Of course, we're brothers. Blood relations are not the only thing that define a family. And the way you get on my nerves definitely makes you my little brother."

"Thanks for the apology and food, Donnie," Mikey said before sniffling out, "I'm sorry I slammed my door in your face, and yelled at you, and ran away from you, and peed on your backpack."

"It's okay, Mikey," Donnie said, patting his baby brother's head. "I shouldn't have exploded at you for just wanting to spend some time with me. I deserved it." The soft-shell paused for a moment. "Wait, you _peed_ on my backpack?!"

"I'm sorry!" Mikey cried.

Donnie huffed and held Mikey a little longer, saying, "It's fine. I can wash it. Do you want to play a game with me and Leo for a minute?"

Mikey pulled away with a confused look.

"Leo wants to play with us?" he asked.

Donnie nodded and explained, "I apologized to him a little earlier. I was going to talk to you first, but . . ."

"Does Raph want to play too?" Mikey asked. Donnie cringed at the reminder. Seeing this, Mikey continued slowly, "Or were you going to apologize to him last?"

"Yes, I still have to find him," Donnie admitted as he led the way to the arcade. "I guess we can all play later then."

Leo leaned out of the arcade and smiled widely.

"Mikey forgave you!" he cheered.

"Yep!" Mikey laughed.

Donnie simply nodded and said, "Yeah, but now I have to talk to Raph."


	5. Chapter 5: Raph in the Dojo

**Hey everybody! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus, but I've got a nice new chapter all ready for you guys. Please check out tallgirl14's artwork on tumblr if you get the chance.  
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Chapter Five: Raph in the Dojo

"Raph's been making a lot of food runs, lately," Leo said. "Maybe he's in sleeping for another trip tonight."

Donnie groaned, muttering, "There's no way he'd hear me out if I woke him up!"

"But he's not asleep," Mikey said. "Papa got mad at Raph for going to the surface during the day and made him go clean out the dojo."

"When did this happen?" Leo asked in surprise. "We were gone for, like, ten minutes. Fifteen tops!"

"We were gone for thirty minutes," Donnie said. "That's plenty of time for Raph to get caught by Dad. How did you find out though, Mikey?"

"Papa gave me the food Raph found to put away," Mikey explained. "I didn't want to get in trouble like Raph did, so I stayed in the kitchen to get a snack."

Donnie nodded and said, "I'll see if Raph's still in the dojo. You guys go ahead and play some games. If all goes well, we'll be joining you soon!"

"Yay!" Leo and Mikey cheered as their older brother raced away to find their eldest sibling.

 _One more apology_ , Donnie thought, _then everything will go back to normal._

As he neared the dojo, the soft-shell started picking up the familiar muttering Raph released every time he was annoyed while doing chores. It was extremely comforting for Donnie to hear the snapping turtle grumble on about the demolished state of the dojo and how unfair it was that _he_ had to clean it up by himself. Donnie felt his hopes rise with each word, longing to have all of his brothers back. Maybe if he helped Raph clean the dojo, the eldest turtle may be more willing to listen to Donnie's apology. However, he needed to be careful. Splinter had warned his sons not to go inside the dojo without his consent due to the danger the room posed, especially to Donatello and his soft shell.

Donnie peeked around the doorframe. The last time he had been in there was three months ago when it was last completely intact. He and his brothers had thoroughly trashed it under their father's supervision, and it had been a construction zone/disaster area ever since. Scaffolding laden with spackling materials lined a wall pock-marked from where dozens of shuriken and kunai pierced _it_ instead of hitting the stuffed targets Splinter had set up. There were divots in the floor made from the spikes of a mace the boys had tried to swing without dropping. Surprisingly, Mikey was the only one who hadn't lost grip or control on the mace, leaving his area on the floor divot-free. Sandbags and concrete mixes lay haphazardly around the room, as well as buckets, shredded up training dummies, and broken fragments of wood.

Raphael was dragging the dummies and other pieces of sizeable debris into piles by the door. The dummies would be taken to Donnie's lab at some point to get stitched back together, the broken boards could be used as firewood or for Mikey to craft with, but the chunks of concrete would have to be thrown away. Raph maintained a sour expression of frustration and anger throughout his punishment that Donnie figured was directed at Splinter. It didn't take a genius to realize that the young soft-shell turtle needed to be careful when approaching the irate snapper. Raphael was _never_ fun to be around when he was angry, and Donatello was not foolish enough to think that the anger towards him burned any less than the inferno that it was when it first ignited.

 _Now or never_ , Donnie thought decisively and walked towards the bigger turtle.

"Raph?" Donnie asked as he entered the room.

Raph kept sorting through the wreckage, completely ignoring Donnie's presence. That caused a now familiar, but still unpleasant, wave of awkwardness to spread inside of Donnie. However, the soft-shell had figured out the pattern his brother would most likely follow by this point. If he played his cards right, Don would be able to get Raph to listen to his apology.

"Raph, I know that you're kinda busy, but can we talk?" Donnie asked. When there was no response, he added, "I can help you with clean up, uh, if you want."

Raph continued to ignore the soft-shell. He actually started to move deeper into the dojo's construction zone. The snapping turtle's mumbling seemed to intensify. A sinking feeling tugged at Donnie's stomach, but he was determined to say his piece to his stubborn older brother. Did Raph want to be left alone, or was he testing Donnie's sincerity? Donnie knew when he was mad at Raph that the snapping turtle would never let him be, never relent, until he made things right. It would follow that the same logic should apply to Raph having an issue with him. Donatello followed Raphael.

"Raph, c'mon," Donnie said when the larger turtle wouldn't stop walking away. "I just want to talk!"

Raph steadily picked up speed until his walk turned into a run. He had long stopped muttering and focused more on putting distance between himself and Donnie. Raph bobbed and weaved through the destruction in the dojo with an ease that would surprise anyone who didn't know him. He may be big and bulky, but the snapping turtle did not necessarily lack a complete sense of grace in his movements. He didn't stumble once over the divots or debris coating the floor. Donnie did his best to keep up. However, he was exhausted from his chase after Leo and felt his legs starting to cramp up from overuse.

"Raph, stop! Please, stop!" Donnie cried out while slowly and unwillingly coming to a stop. His legs felt like they were going to give out from under him, and his big brother, his _only_ big brother, was nowhere in sight anymore.

Donnie leaned against the sandbags bracing the scaffolding. As agile as he normally was, the soft-shell turtle couldn't stop the pain and fear that quickly drained his stamina. He had gone into the dojo with the hope that Raph would at least be willing to listen to an apology, but the snapping turtle flat out ignored and avoided him. Donnie came to the horrible conclusion that he had hurt the soft-hearted Raphael far worse than either Leo or Mikey. Raph hadn't even looked at him once. Had the soft-shell truly been abandoned by his only big brother? The same big brother who had always watched his shell if he even thought something was going to cause harm, who would rough house with him as gently as possible, who had forgiven him countless times already for accidentally tearing up beloved stuffed animals and ruining fun with his logic. Donnie's breathing hitched, and he grabbed at his ducked head in despair, sliding to the ground. His legs hurt, his head hurt, and his heart hurt the most. Donatello was caught so deeply in his own agony that he didn't notice Raphael watching him from the scaffolding.

"Raphael!" Donnie screamed one final time. It sounded as broken as he felt.

The red-clad turtle waited a moment, as if debating with himself, before leaping down in front of the soft-shell.

"I _don't_ want to talk to you," Raph stated bluntly, crossing his arms and avoiding eye-contact. "I'm here to clean, not listen to whatever it is you want to say."

"But—"

"I said _no_!" Raph interrupted, slamming his fist into one of the metal legs of the scaffolding. "Leave me alone!"

Dust cascaded onto Donnie's head, and creaking and popping slowly began to fill the air. Donnie didn't even need to look up to know that the planks from the scaffolding above them had been dislodged and the whole structure was coming down. Raph had miscalculated his own strength, and both of them were going to be buried. One glance at Raph's wide-eyed expression steeled the soft-shell turtle's resolve. Without stopping to think, Donnie gathered up all his remaining strength and shoved Raph out of the way.

"Donnie!" Raph yelled.

Donnie briefly felt relief knowing that his big brother would be alright. Then, the _crashing_ happened, and _terror_ filled him, and _pain_ shot through his shell and head. Tools plummeted from the top planks and clattered to the ground. Bags of plaster and sand tore open in the fall and rained down upon Donatello and Raphael, cloaking the two in a dusty haze. Raph coughed as he waved his arm through the plaster and sand floating in the air. There was no way their dad hadn't heard this commotion, and he knew he would be in even deeper trouble. Just over his coughs and the fading echoes of the crash, the snapping turtle was able to make out pained moaning.

"Donnie?" Raph asked. He stepped closer to the pile of metal and wood before freezing up in terror. "Donnie!"

The heavy boards pinned Donnie to the ground by the middle of his shell, and the metal poles added pressure to completely immobilize him. His head and shoulders were gray-white from the plaster powder, and Raph could swear his saw something red sliding down Donnie's side. Donnie frantically tried to pull himself out of the wreckage, but he just wasn't strong enough to break free. A pained scream tore its way from the soft-shell's mouth as his scrambling did nothing but get him more stuck, planks of wood digging in even deeper with each movement. Donatello couldn't even wiggle without the pain flaring and tearing up his spine.

"Donnie, stop moving," Raph ordered desperately. "Stop moving! Please! You're only making it worse!"

Donnie didn't care. He hurt everywhere. He couldn't move. He felt hot and cold and sticky and dry. Breathing was the only thing he felt like he could do right, and the dust and sand were making that more difficult than it should've been, and now he was coughing. He was in trouble. Raph didn't want to be around him, and Leo and Mikey weren't strong enough to lift the boards and metal rods. There was only one person left who would be able to help him.

"Dad," Donnie whimpered quietly.

"What?" Raph hadn't heard what the younger turtle said.

Choking on dust, Donnie raised his voice and yelled, "Dad! Daddy!"

Raph felt a chill in the pit of his stomach and quickly tried to silence Donatello.

"No, I can do it!" he said quickly. "I can get you out. Don't call Pops!"

However, Raphael knew that silencing the soft-shell was a fruitless endeavor at this point. Everyone in their family knew that if Donatello, as independent and self-sufficient as he was, called for "Daddy," then the situation was truly out of hand.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Donnie shrieked long and loud.

"Purple, what hap—"

Neither Donnie nor Raph noticed when their father came in, but the soft-shell broke completely when he saw the gray rat.

"Daddy, help me!" Donnie sobbed.

Splinter rushed to the pinned turtle's side without giving his eldest a glance. He tried to school his expression into something comforting and not show the horror and fear that had wrapped icy chains around his heart.

"Hush, Donatello, I'm right here," Splinter murmured while petting his son's head. "You'll be out of there in no time." With one sweep of his tail, he sent the metal poles holding down the boards flying and scattered the plastering tools away from Donnie's shell. "Raphael, lift these boards so I can pull Donatello out."

"Yessir," Raph said. He lifted up the board barely an inch above Donnie before Splinter pulled the soft-shell out to assess him for further injuries.

"Daddy," Donnie hiccupped. "It hurts."

"I know, son," Splinter hushed while checking the dusty turtle over. He grimaced at the plaster-crusted gash he saw in the middle of Donnie's shell. "It will hurt for a while. Come on now, up we go." Splinter lifted his injured son as gently as possible and carried him to the rat mutant's bedroom.

All Donnie felt was pain and hopelessness. He tightened his grip on the back of his father's robe. His shell throbbed and ached from where the scaffolding had fallen on him, and something wet was sliding down his carapace. He looked at the ground behind Splinter and balked at the red spots trialing behind them.

 _I'm bleeding, Raph doesn't want to be around me, and now Dad's going to be mad at me for getting hurt!_

Donnie whimpered at the thought of having more of his family leave him when he just got his little brothers back. He buried his head into Splinter's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Donnie whimpered. "I'm sorry. I tried. I didn't mean to—"

"Hush now, son," Splinter gently cut him off and rubbed the back of his head. "It's going to be all right."

Donatello didn't notice when they had reached his father's room or see that Raph was guiltily trailing after them.

"Purple, I want you to lay on your front," Splinter instructed as he placed his son on the bed. "I need to clean you up and put in some stitches."

"I wanna sleep," Donnie mumbled. He didn't want to be awake for anymore painful events, physical or emotional.

Splinter was immediately holding his head and looking deep into his eyes, asking, "Do you feel lightheaded? headachy? like you want to puke?"

Donnie shook his head without any immediate regrets, saying, "No, I'm sleepy."

Splinter didn't look any less worried. He stared at Donnie for a few moments more before nodding.

"Lay on your belly then," he said while manually moving his son onto his stomach. "I'll be done before you wake up."

Donatello fell asleep almost immediately after that. He slept soundly through the wash his father gave him but twitched and grimaced when his wounds were treated. The soft-shell didn't get the chance to see the horrified look on Raphael's face when he saw the jagged gash and forming bruises. He wasn't aware of Splinter questioning his big brother on what led to his injuries or the disappointment his father expressed towards the eldest turtle mutant. Donnie had no idea that Splinter had left him and Raphael alone in his room. His dreamless sleep didn't allow him to hear the door lock.


	6. Chapter 6: Raph and Donnie Talk

**Hey folks! I've got a nice new chapter all ready to make you sad and cry fan tears :D Check out tallgirl14 on tumblr, and leave a review even if it's just a few words! Any feedback makes my day and encourages me to update sooner. And something tells me that you'll want that by the end of this chapter ;)  
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Chapter Six: Raph and Donnie Talk

Donnie slowly became aware of the comforting warmth of a blanket pulled over his shoulders. It contrasted sharply with the pain tugging with his stitched up carapace. He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but he knew it wasn't long enough to make any of his hurt lessen. His attempted apology to Raph had been a complete disaster. The snapping turtle had refused to look at him the entire time, and Donnie highly suspected that Raph only wanted to try and help him out of the wreckage to avoid whatever punishment their father would give them. With that in mind, Donnie tried to slowly push himself up into a sitting position but stopped when the pain was aggravated. He barely managed to bite back a whimper.

"Don't do that!"

Donnie's head shot up at Raph's voice. How long had he been there? Large-for-an-eight-year-old hands quickly steadied the soft-shell before carefully moving him up to lean against the pillows on Splinter's bed. As soon as Donnie was settled, the hands disappeared.

"Raph?" Donnie said quietly.

Donnie, taken aback by the question, simply said, "Because we're brothers." _Even if you won't forgive me._

"What you did was stupid," the snapper scoffed.

"You would've gotten hurt," Donnie reasoned, confused and hurt by Raph's statement. He wouldn't try to deny that what he did wasn't very bright, but that wasn't the point!

"Not as bad as you did!" Raph countered. He pointed harshly at the injured turtle. "You said it yourself: _I'm_ twice as big as _you_! _I_ have a stronger shell than _you_! I wouldn't have gotten more than a few scratches if that stuff fell on me!"

 _He probably would've been able to pull himself out, too, unlike me_ , Donnie thought, gripping at the blanket covering his legs. He was all too aware of how much stronger Raph was compared to him, how much the others didn't have to worry about hurting their shells. However, now wasn't the time to point out their differences. Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and blocked out those thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I was trying to help you clean the dojo because I _care_. _You_ wouldn't listen to me and ran away." He paused then mumbled to himself, "It's not like I had planned on being buried."

"Well, you were," Raph snarled. Donnie couldn't hear the worry in his tone past the anger that was starting to simmer in his veins. "You're supposed to be the smart one! You should've left me alone! You got banged up and buried because you were stupid!"

"When you want to make your point, you never leave me alone, no matter how mad I get at you," Donnie shouted. "Why can't I follow your example when _I'm_ the one trying to apologize?! Well?!"

"Well," Raph floundered, clearly surprised by Don's statement, "maybe leaving you alone this time was _my_ point! You didn't want us around, so I wasn't." His eyes hardened. "Besides, if you had just stayed away from a bossy, bothersome pain like me, you wouldn't have gotten hurt!"

Donnie felt his train of thought crash when he heard his own words used against him. He understood that Raph was hurt by them, but the context was wrong.

"How am I supposed to stay away from you?" Donnie questioned softly. _Your logic makes no sense_. Raph was his family. The four mutant turtles were all that they had in the world, including their rat father. There was no way they could keep this up for . . . for the rest of their lives. "We live in the same house."

Spinning around in the chair, Raph shrugged and said carelessly, "You've been doing a good job of that all week. You must've been _so_ happy without me or the others _bugging_ you in your lab."

A nasty ember of anger sparked up from the simmering feeling in the soft-shell's chest. The red-clad mutant had no idea that he avoided the ground zero of this entire debacle. Raph didn't care that Donnie had been dying from loneliness and fear for days on end trying to figure out how to make things better. Donatello fought desperately to keep the anger from growing any further with a deep breath. If a hiss came out of his mouth, he would blame it wholly on the pain in his shell from moving the wrong way and not on the frustration he felt towards the snapping turtle.

"How am I supposed to make amends with you if _you_ won't let me even try?!" Donnie demanded. "What does us avoiding each other prove?! _None_ of this makes any sense!"

Don could see Raph's thinned patience snap when he roared, "I'M JUST GIVING YOU WHAT YOU WANTED: I'M NOT BEING YOUR BIG BROTHER ANYMORE!"

Donnie's world came to a screeching halt. What . . . what did Raph just say? Not his . . . Horror and loss shot through his heart. Was this how it felt for the others all that time ago in the lab? Is this how it felt to be disowned by someone you cared about so deeply? He was . . . abandoned. No, there still had to be a chance! The snapping turtle had stayed by Donnie's side for who knows how long, and he talked to him! Even if most of it was an argument and yelling, they were talking again! That had to mean something!

Donnie steeled himself mentally and, putting on a façade of nonchalance to hide his true feelings of desperation and fragile hope, said, "Whatever. I'm just glad you're talking to me."

Raphael went back to spinning around in the chair and avoiding his eyes, muttering, "I have to talk to you until Pops comes back. He locked the door."

Quiet descended between the two mutant children. That was the reason Raph was there? Because of an underhanded trick by their father? If that was true and Raph really didn't want to be his big brother anymore, then why did he bother breaking the silence between them?! Donnie just didn't get it! What was the point in trying to help him, even a little, and speaking to him if the snapping turtle hated him now? When Donnie opened his mouth to ask Raph just that, the door clicked open. Mikey not-so-subtly poked his head in and looked at his older brothers curiously. Raph and Donnie blankly returned his stare. However, when Mikey saw the soft-shell, or more accurately the bandages and bruises on him, the young box turtle ran in wailing. Leo swiftly followed his younger brother into the room and just as quickly assessed the situation at hand. Mikey had jumped onto Splinter's bed to get closer to Donnie and see his battered body, and Raph sat as far from the other three as he could.

"Man, Raph," Leo said in surprise, "I knew you were upset with Donnie, but was this really necessary?" Donnie could hear the accusatory edge in his twin's voice, and evidently so did Raph.

" _I_ didn't do this to Donnie," the snapper denied. "Donnie did this to himself!"

Leo gave the purple-clad turtle a once over and slowly, suspiciously, replied, "That doesn't sound like Donnie."

Mikey wrapped his arms around one of Donnie's and asked, "What happened?"

"Yeah, what did happen?" Leo asked. "There was an awful big crash in the dojo earlier. Dad told us to stay away from it."

Donnie took a quick moment to collect his thoughts. This was all his fault. It was his fault that he got hurt, and it was his fault that Raph didn't want to be his big brother anymore. But he wouldn't let any blame be placed on the red-loving snapping turtle if he could help it!

"I was running in the dojo and knocked something into the scaffolding," Donnie explained carefully. His hands fidgeted a little, but it wasn't a total lie. Normally thinking up of fibs on the spot made his brain stall, but half-truths? Those were easy enough. "The boards came loose, and it fell on me."

"Nope!" Leo chirped immediately and crossed his arms. "Donnie isn't _that_ big of a klutz. What _really_ happened?"

"Exactly what I said!" Donnie groaned in exasperation. Of course Leo would know when he was trying to hide something. Why couldn't they just leave him be?! Catching that last thought, Donnie realized that he wouldn't be able to take much more of this. If he kept letting himself get aggravated in this room with the others like this, then it would just end up like it did all that time ago in his lab. Only this time, he knew he would say something that would never, _could never_ , be forgiven. He needed to get out and calm down.

He slowly pulled himself to the edge of Splinter's bed and made to get down. It _hurt_. It hurt so much, in both his shell and his heart. However, when Raph suddenly appeared at his side to help him, Donnie swatted his hands away. He nearly fell from the pangs the action sent up his shell.

"I don't need help," Donnie said thickly, even though he clearly felt otherwise and knew the others could see it. "I'm fine."

"No!" Raph exclaimed. He hovered at the soft-shell's side, worry and stubbornness shining in his eyes, but Donnie was the one refusing to meet gazes this time. "I know what you look like under those bandages. I don't want you getting any worse!"

"Why do you care?!" Donnie asked fiercely. "You said you were only here because Dad locked you in! Well, guess what?" He swept his arm dramatically towards the doorway. "The door's wide open!" Unwanted tears gathered in the soft-shell's eyes. He tried to fight them off, but a few slipped out anyway. "Just leave me alone since you hate me so much!"

Raph's eyes widened in shock as he mumbled, "I never said I hated you!" Then stubbornness steeled his gaze, and he reiterated, "I was giving you what you asked for!"

"And I was trying to make things right!" Donnie shouted, voice cracking. "Leo forgave me and so did Mikey!" Tears were streaming down Donnie's cheeks now. "But you wouldn't even hear me out when I tried—"

"WHAT!?" Leo bellowed. He pulled Donnie behind him and glared at his eldest brother. Raph quickly grew nervous. "Donnie tried to apologize to you, and you didn't even give him a chance?!"

"Well . . .," Raph hummed, avoiding the gaze of his little brothers.

A look of realization dawned upon Leo's face, and he snarled, "You _did_ hurt Donnie, didn't you?! You're the reason he looks like a mummy!" He swung a punch at the snapping turtle's jaw, but Donnie grabbed the ends of his mask and pulled him back.

"Don't!" Donnie cried, struggling to keep Leo back. He grimaced at the way every little shift in his arms pulled at the stitches. "I got hurt because I was stupid!" _I was stupid. I was so_ stupid!

Leo glanced back at his brother incredulously. "But you're the smart one! That doesn't make sense."

"That's what I said!" Raph interjected before wilting under Leo's heated glare.

Donnie drew attention back to him by saying, "I should have left Raphael alone when I saw how mad he was, but I couldn't just watch him get hurt! I didn't think about what would happen to me."

"Donnie went through all this trouble to say sorry, he got _hurt_ trying to help _you_ ," Leo growled, slipping out of his mask to push Raph back _hard_ , "and you _still_ won't forgive him?!"

"Leo, stop," Donnie begged. He felt defeat settle into the bottom of his belly. "You can't make him accept an apology he doesn't want."

"Raphie," Mikey said sadly, "don't you want Donnie to be your brother anymore? I know he's mine and Leo's. He wants to be yours, too. He told me so."

Raph looked dumbfounded at his baby brother's statement and remained silent. Donnie choked on a whimper. He didn't know how Leo or Mikey would take it when Raph told them that he _didn't_ , in fact, want to be his brother anymore. Not wanting to hear the inevitable response, the soft-shell ran out of Splinter's room. Leo didn't hesitate to chase after him. Raph looked on helplessly as the two sped away before flicking his gaze to the only other occupant in the room. Mikey teared up at his biggest brother's silence and followed after his other brothers, squeezing one of Donnie's hands in comfort when he caught up to them.

"Why am I the bad guy?" Raph demanded to the empty room, clenching his hands. He stomped towards the swivel chair, grumbling and muttering, "I was just trying to show—Ugh!"

"You cannot teach a lesson that has already been learned, Red," Splinter stated as he rounded the doorframe. "You and I need to have a talk."


	7. Chapter 7: Words Said in Anger

**Hey, everybody! I've got a nice new update for you. Angst abounds in this chapter (what else is new), but I sprinkled in some humor this time to help it go down easier. Check out tallgirl14 on tumblr! She's got some really good fanart of RotTMNT, Star vs., and Milo Murphy!  
**

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Chapter Seven: Words Said in Anger

"Raph hates me," Donnie moaned to himself while rushing down the hall. "He hates me; I just know it! He wouldn't even look me in the eye!"

What would it take for Raphael to see that the soft-shell was sorry? Leo had felt bad for igniting the flames of his anger and wanted forgiveness just as much as Donnie wanted to apologize; Mikey just needed confirmation that they were a family and that Donnie wanted them to stay that way as well. But it was too late for apologies to the eldest turtle now.

"Donnie, wait," Leo cried out. He caught his older twin with a carefully placed hand on his shoulder. "Don, Raph doesn't hate you. He's just being a stubborn butthead."

"You're so sure of that," Donnie snarled, debating between shrugging off Leo's hand or embracing the red-eared slider. "He _told_ me that—" He cut himself off. Why make Leo any more upset at the snapping turtle than he already was? It's not like it mattered anymore. "Never mind."

"Why?" Leo asked. He threw a glare over his shoulder. "What did Raph tell you?"

"Nothing," Donnie quickly lied. "He didn't tell me anything. Here's your mask." Leo watched him carefully while placing the mask back over his eyes.

During that time, Mikey raced up to Donnie and squeezed his free hand. He softly said, "Raphie didn't answer me. Are things still going to be weird?"

Donnie bit his lip. He couldn't tell another lie, not to his baby brother; but he couldn't tell them the truth either. And when the door to their father's room slammed shut, the soft-shell found himself unable to even speak. Leo must have understood his struggle and took matters into his own hands.

"Not for long," he said, patting Mikey's head. "It may take a little while for things to get better, but don't worry about it took much. We're brothers, after all. We fight and make each other mad, but then we make up. Things are gonna work out. Just not right now."

"Okay." Mikey gave a small smile. "If you say so."

Donnie smiled ruefully at the blatant lie Leo didn't even realize he'd told. There was no way Raphael would ever forgive him. They weren't brothers anymore. He turned to go back to his lab, back to ground zero, and stew on his loss, but shooting pain in his shell nearly brought him to his knees. Luckily for him, Leo and Mikey were there to catch him before he fell.

"Donnie!" They cried.

"Ow!" Donnie barked out. "Ow! Ow! OW!"

"What's wrong?" Mikey asked, helping Leo brace their older brother up on his trembling legs.

"It's my shell," Donnie hissed. "It really hurt when I turned just now. Can you guys help me to my lab?"

"No probbles," Leo said, easily stealing one of Donnie's favorite lines. "Leave it to Leon and Miguel!"

"Yeah!" Mikey agreed, helping Donnie onto Leo's back. "We can get you to the lab really fast!"

"Thanks guys," Donnie said. If he wrapped his arms a bit snugger around Leo's shoulders, no one said anything about it. He was just glad he had his little brothers to lean on. "If you want, we can play 'Lab Assistant' when we get there—for real this time. I, uh, need to start over on my tech bo and wouldn't mind the help."

"Wait, really?" Leo asked. He glanced over his shoulder to look Donnie in the eye. "Last time, we kinda messed things up. Bad."

"Well, _I_ wasn't watching what you were doing last time," Donnie said in mock defense. "If you guys are to keep coming into my lab, then I'm going to put you to use, especially since I'm in no shape to work alone."

"Yay!" Mikey celebrated, and Leo laughed at his antics. "Donnie wants us to help, Leo! We can build anything! Last one there's a rotten egg!" He raced ahead of them and dove into the lab.

"Alright, Mikey's gone," Leo said knowingly, and the smile on his face dimmed. "Spill."

Donnie mumbled, "I just really don't want to be alone right now. Please. Please stay with me." As sad as he was, he almost wanted to laugh at how the situation had changed for him. Instead of trying to keep his brothers out of his lab, his domain, his place of quiet and solitude, the soft-shell was inviting them in and encouraging them to stay.

"I told you, D," Leo said. "I'm here for you, no matter what. That's what twins are for!"

"Thanks, Leo," Donnie said as they entered the lab. _Thanks for being my brother._

"Here's a chair, Donnie!" Mikey said, rolling the swivel chair towards his older brothers and holding it steady for Donnie to sit on.

"Thanks, Mikey." Donnie smiled down at his baby brother before looking around his lab. He hadn't been there for a week, and not much had changed except for a thin layer of dust that had collected on top of his machines and projects. Glancing at his desk, the soft-shell could see his shield project where he had left it, but in front of it lay a badly taped crooked metal stick that he could only assume to be his prototype tech bo. "You weren't kidding about the tape not working," Donnie teased as Leo pushed him to the desk.

"Shut up," Leo mumbled, clearly embarrassed by his failed handiwork.

Mikey laughed, but Donnie simply gave Leo a fond grin. It wasn't long before the prototype was in pieces once more. While Donnie set Mikey to work organizing the wiring that could be salvaged and Leo to gathering up tools and materials, the soft-shell caught his reflection in the slightly dusty dome of his protective shield. He rubbed the dust away to get a better look and found that his face was bare. His eyes widened. He could see the bruises blotching around his face and the nasty-looking cut that oozed underneath his right eye. He hadn't felt any of this the entire time—heck, he hadn't even realized that his mask was gone—but ignorance was bliss, and he was aware of the pain now.

"Hey, Donnie," Leo said as he set down the tools and metals his brother had requested. "What are you looking at?"

Donnie would later swear that he had prepared a response along the lines of _'I didn't realize my mask was off'_ or _'There's a cut under my eye that I could really use a bandage for,'_ but neither of those phrases left his lips. What Donnie declared, not only to his brothers but to the world itself, as he pointed at the reflection was astoundingly profound and of the highest import.

"MY EYEBROWS?!"

* * *

"Care to explain exactly what just happened, Red?" Splinter asked as he closed the door.

Splinter held himself up to his full height as he frowned at his eldest son. It wasn't that impressive of a difference considering Raph was only a head smaller than him, but this was Pops. And Pops wasn't playing around. The snapper was in trouble. Big trouble. However, as much as he hated being in trouble, Raph still felt he was in the right and used his anger towards the soft-shell to justify himself.

"I don't have to listen to what he has to say," Raph growled. "He goes off about none of us being brothers and disappears for a week. I was giving him what he wanted! He should've left me alone."

"Do _not_ use that tone of voice with me," Splinter snapped. " _He_ has a name, Red, and you will use it. Purple did _not_ deserve to be treated so poorly, especially after what he did and was trying to do for you. Do you truly not want him as your brother?"

" _Donatello_ said he didn't want us, first," Raph nearly shrieked. Angry and frustrated tears pricked his eyes. "He screamed it in our faces! How different we all are from each other. How we weren't blood-related. How he doesn't want us around him!" He dropped his bottom to the floor, crossed his arms and legs, and glared at the ground. He didn't feel guilty at all. "I gave him what he wanted!" Nope, not at all. Not. One. Bit. Of guilt.

Splinter sighed tiredly. He was getting old. His children were making him old. They were killing him. Slowly but surely, they were killing their father.

"Red, words said in anger hurt those who hear them," Splinter said calmly, "but they also injure the one who says them as well."

Raph blinked. _What is that supposed to mean?_ He looked up to his father in blatant confusion.

"Purple regretted those hurtful things as soon as they left his mouth," Splinter explained. "He said them because he was upset that something he worked so hard on was broken by those he cared about the most who ignored his warnings. After your fight, Purple spent the entire week hiding by my side because he was afraid of his brothers—of _you_ —abandoning him."

Raph felt something inside of him grow cold. The guilt that he had been ignoring spread to his chest and reflected in his eyes. "He did?"

"Yes, Red," Splinter nodded sagely. "If I was told correctly, Purple started avoiding you, Blue, and Orange the day after your fight because you walked away from him first. He didn't know how to apologize to you and feared that you would reject him again if he tried." Raph wilted at how right Donnie had been. "He was so terrified that you hated him because you believed he hated you that he broke down crying in my lap. Given the current circumstances, it would appear that he was justified in his fears. I left you both in this room so you could fix your problems, not escalate them."

Raph choked on the guilt that welled up in him. Donnie really had been afraid of losing him as a big brother? The snapping turtle had been mad at him for what he said and decided that giving the soft-shell what he wanted would set him straight, but it seemed that Raphael had taken it too far. He hadn't liked pretending that he didn't care about Donnie, especially when he saw the trail of blood that was left behind from his torn shell. Raph had cleaned it up with some of the rags from the destroyed training dummies. He didn't want Leo or Mikey to see it. It had scared Raph how much blood he wiped up before he watched his father tend to Donnie's wounds. Pops had told him to talk to Donnie when he woke up and that the door would be locked until he did; but when the snapper had watched over the soft-shell and saw the bruises and cuts that couldn't be covered, all Raphael could think of was how stupid Donnie was for running around in the dojo. Pops had told them all, Donnie especially, not to mess around in there! He had been angry and upset and worried and—

"I didn't even really lock the door," Splinter stated plainly. "I just played a locking sound from my phone and jiggled the knob. If you really didn't want to talk to Purple, I know you would've at least tried to force the door open."

Raph started sobbing. He _had_ wanted to talk to Donnie, but the more he thought about what happened while the younger mutant slept the worse he felt. He had thought Donnie was going to _die_ when he accidentally made the scaffolding collapse. He thought Donnie—and everyone else—would think he tried to bury him on purpose. He thought Donnie would never want him back as his big brother after he woke up— _if_ he woke up—even after what Donnie said. In the end, Raphael had been just as afraid as his younger brother was.

"I made everything worse!" Raph wailed into his knees.

"Maybe," Splinter sighed, stroking his son's head, "but perhaps you and your brother can still fix it."

"How?" Raph whimpered when his father pulled away. He looked up to see Splinter pulling a patch of purple fabric down from the bed. It was Donnie's mask.

"You tell me, Red," Splinter said. He held out the purple mask. "What will you do?"

Raph hiccuped a little and took the mask into his hands. He stared at it for a moment and realized how much he actually missed seeing Donnie and his Sharpie-eyebrows. He missed the sarcastic comments, quick wit, and the science talk that he didn't altogether understand. He sorely missed his younger brother.

"I'll talk to him—for real this time," the snapping turtle said slowly, making sure what he said wasn't just what his father wanted to hear. "I'll listen to what he has to say and apologize for being a jerk. I'm his big brother, and he's my little brother, and I want him back, Pops."

"Good," Splinter nodded with approval. "Now, get to it. Purple was very upset when he ran out."

Raph charged out of Splinter's room and into the Lair. It had been a little while since his brothers—all of his brothers—had left, so he had a few places to choose from. _Where would Donnie go?_ Raph thought to himself as he peeked into the family room. His shell was hurt, and so were his feelings, and he was probably with their little brothers still. So, where would they take Donnie to make him feel better? The snapping turtle checked Leo's room, then Mikey's, and just when he was going to check Donnie's, he heard voices pouring from the soft-shell's lab. Once he reached the doorway, Raph stayed as quiet as possible and watched as his little brothers worked together on one of Donnie's projects.

"Hey, Donnie, do you need this thing yet?" Mikey asked as he held up a ratchet.

Donnie smiled but shook his head in the negative. "Not yet, Mikey. I still have to make sure the panels are the right size first." He glanced over at Leo to see how his share of the work was going. "How's that wiring coming along?"

"I forget," Leo said, crossing his arms in confusion. "Do the red wires go next to the green ones or the yellow ones?"

Donnie snickered. "Neither! They wrap around the black ones. Like this!" Donnie demonstrated the technique to Leo, grinning at the comprehension that blossomed on the slider's face.

"Oh, right!" Leo said, taking the sample wiring into his hands. "Thanks, Donnie."

Raph gave a small smile at the sight. It was nice seeing Donnie work with his brothers instead of fighting with them. He must have made a happy noise or something, though, because soon all three heads turned in his direction. The snapping turtle felt awkward from the silent stares, but he didn't really have room to complain. He waved a hand in greeting, the hand that clutched Donnie's mask to be specific. It felt like he was waving a white flag of surrender. Only it was purple. And a mask. And had two black Sharpie-eyebrow lines.

"I found your eyebrows, D!" Mikey chirped, helpfully pointing at the mask.

Donnie slapped a hand to his forehead, and Leo cackled.


	8. Chapter 8: Everyone in Donnie's Lab

**Hey, everybody! I'm back with a new chapter! Sorry for the wait, but, y'know... life. Anyway, remember to check out tallgirl14's artwork on tumblr and leave a comment. I love to hear what you all have to say, whether it's one word or a full blown novel. Love you guys, and stay safe!**

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Chapter Eight: Everyone in Donnie's Lab

"Um, Donnie," Raph started shyly. He almost took step into the lab but stopped. "Can... can I talk with you? For real this time?"

Silence met Raph's words. Leo and Mikey not-so-subtly glanced at Donnie to see how he would respond. The eldest turtles had a tangible wall of tension between them, and the youngest two easily picked up on that. Donnie narrowed his eyes at the snapping turtle's request. He didn't really know what to do in this situation. Did Raph really want to talk to him, or was he just doing this to save face with Leo and Mikey? He had made it pretty clear that their brotherly tie was severed in Splinter's room; but Raph didn't look angry or indifferent like he had earlier. If anything, the eldest turtle looked nervous… maybe even a little sad. Donnie sighed. It's not like whatever was left of their ruined bond could get any worse.

"Sure," the soft-shell agreed, very much _unsurely_. "Did you want to talk here or—?"

"No, whatever Raph has to say to you, he can say it in front of me and Mikey," Leo interrupted stubbornly.

"Leo!" Donnie hissed.

"I don't care, Donnie!" Leo frowned. "He was a jerk to you last time, and you just took it! That isn't the Donatello I know!"

"I didn't 'just take it'," Donnie denied. "This is between me and Raph."

"Donnie, Leo's right," Raph said, breaking into the conversation. When the three younger turtles gave him their undivided attention, he heaved a deep sigh. "I was a jerk. I'm… I'm sorry for earlier, Donnie. I was still really mad about what you said a week ago. The Lair was too quiet, none of us were spending any time with each other, and I blamed you. When I didn't see you the whole time, it made me even more upset! I thought you had been in your lab, not caring we weren't around, but… I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you tried to apologize. I ignored and avoided you to prove a stupid point." He dropped his head to look at the purple Sharpie-marked bandana in his hands. His eyes glossed over as his hands began to shake.

"Raph?" Donnie asked. He didn't bother trying to hide his concern; and, in spite of how done the youngest turtles were with their nonsense, even Leo and Mikey were worried about Raph.

The snapping turtle shook his head. It didn't clear the tears from his eyes or steady his voice when he stuttered out, "I-I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was scared. I-I'm sorry for being mean to you." Raph let out a sob as he shoved Donnie's mask out towards its proper owner. "You were just trying to make things right, and I made it impossible. You got hurt because of me. I didn't mean for that to h-happen! It was an accident, I swear!"

Raph was openly crying now, and Donnie didn't know how to handle that. Sure, the snapping turtle's apology had allowed a tendril of hope to grow, but was that enough? Would Raph be welcoming to Donnie trying to be a comfort to him? He looked at how Raph's grip on his purple mask got tighter by the second even though he intended to return it. Did it really matter? Honestly, Donnie didn't even blame Raph for the scaffolding collapse. The eldest turtle was still learning to temper his strength, and he struggled with controlling it the most when he was emotionally charged.

Donnie slowly reached out, placing his hand on top of Raph's trembling fist. He was overwhelmingly relieved that Raph hadn't pulled away from him and said, "I know it was an accident, Raph. The heaviest thing you've ever dropped on me was your stuffed animal collection. I should've been more careful." Donnie blinked as he thought over what the snapping turtle said. "What do you mean you were scared?"

Raph snapped his head up to look Donnie eye-to-teary-eye, and sniffled, "You were _hurt_ , Donnie. You _are_ hurt! I thought you were gonna die! I yelled at you the entire time you tried to apologize to me. I thought everyone would think I knocked the scaffolding down on purpose. I know Leo does…." Leo squinted at the eldest turtle, neither confirming nor denying the statement. "I just… I'm a bad big brother!"

Donnie's breath caught. Big brother? Big brother! That's what Raph meant! Relief, pure and overwhelming, filled the soft-shell's being and flowed out from his eyes. He flung his arms around Raph's shoulders and released a hybrid of a laugh and sob. Raph gently, but no less eagerly, returned the hug.

"No, no, no, that's _my_ line!" Donnie stated, tears dripping onto the other turtle's collar bone. "You are a great big brother! Do you know how many fights you have broken up? How many times have you stopped us all from panicking? You are our fearless leader, you _always_ mean well, and... and you're _my_ big brother." He squeezed a little tighter, quietly, hesitantly asking, "Right?" _Please, please, please… Please let me be right._

Raph nodded against Donnie's head and said, "Always and forever, little brother."

Donnie sobbed loudly once then simply leaned his entire weight against Raph. He was tired, emotionally and physically, and just wanted someone to make it easier to deal with. He knew that his big brother, _his big brother_ , would be able to support him with no issues, and their little brothers weren't going anywhere anytime soon. Speaking of little brothers, Leo and Mikey were being _oddly_ quiet.

Mikey sobbed.

 _There they are_ , Donnie thought. He turned his head a little to see Mikey hugging Leo, who also looked a little misty in the eyes. "You guys doing okay?"

Mikey nodded, and with a hiccup said, "I'm just happy we're brothers again."

"Me too, Mikey," Leo said, wiping at his eyes.

"Same," Raph sniffed out. He slowly set Donnie back on his feet and, once again, presented Donatello with his purple mask. "I missed you guys."

Donnie wiped away the tears and gunk from his face before pulling his mask over the top of his head and eyes. After adjusting the purple fabric, he looked at his family, his brothers, finally reconciled and smiled. He still felt horrible for what he had said to them all that time ago, but now that he was forgiven, he wouldn't let it weigh him down anymore.

"I know this kind of thing usually ends with a group hug," Donnie started, gripping his elbow, "but can we hold off for a while? My back really hurts right now."

Raph, Leo, and Mikey laughed. Donnie didn't get what was so funny. He supposed having leaned against his big brother for five minutes straight or so would make his request seem odd, but that was one person. Their usual four turtle hugs tended to squeeze and squish Donnie's shell if they weren't careful.

Donnie raised an eyebrow, cautiously saying, "I'm not joking? What's so funny?"

His brothers just laughed harder!

Leo _finally_ stopped laughing and patted Donnie's shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

Raph smiled down at his little brothers' interaction. It was so good to have everyone together again. "I saw you guys working on something before. Do you need any more help?"

Donnie smiled a little wider and said, "Sure, if you want."

Donnie, Leo, and Mikey led Raph to their work area. Mikey stole some of Donnie's thunder by explaining what Donnie was having them do to help rebuild his tech bo. Leo happily showed off his 'mad wiring skills' with the samples Donnie had him following. Raph took careful stock of the many tiny, breakable, not-so-Raphael-friendly pieces of metal and wires scattered on the floor then glanced at his clearly emotionally exhausted younger brother.

He pointed at his brothers' current project and asked, "That's the bo staff you've been working on for forever, right? Are you sure you want me touching it? I _really_ don't want to break anything."

"Hm," Donnie hummed, grateful for the eldest turtle's consideration. "You could help me with my prototype battle shell. I can't really do a whole lot of heavy lifting."

Raph looked at the desk Donnie pointed to and saw the heavy-looking dome of purple metal laying on top of it. _That_ looked like it would be hard to break on accident. "Yeah, that sounds good. But, um… what's a battle shell, and how does it work?"

"Oh, um… right." Donnie blinked in surprise. Looking back, Leo was the only one who knew what the basic purpose of the battle shell was, and even then there was so much more about it to explain to all of his brothers. "I haven't told any of you about it yet?" All three shook their heads in the negative. "Well, the overall purpose is to protect my shell from getting hurt." He snorted and pointed to his shell. "You know, like this..."

Raph shrunk into himself from guilt. "Oh."

Leo, not wanting to let anyone dwell on the drama, asked, "What else can it do? I _know_ you put something techier in it than just that."

Donnie nodded. "One day after I've got the prototype all banged out, I'll make models that can fly and climb and do all kinds of stuff I normally can't. That way I won't hold you guys back." A stunned silence met his words, and Donnie glanced between his brothers warily. "What?"

"D-Donnie," Raph stammered, " _no one_ here thinks you hold us back. Why would you say that?"

Donnie scoffed, turning back to work on his bo staff. "Look at me! I tried to help you out, and now I have a big gash on my shell."

"You can't take it personal," Leo tried to reason. "Raph is stronger than all of us."

"Then how about the fact I'm the one who can get hurt the most easily?" Donnie challenged. "The fact I have to keep a distance from you guys to stay safe?"

"Is that why you don't play with us anymore?" Mikey asked, taking one of Donnie's hands. "Do we play too rough?"

Donnie flinched, unsure if he wanted to pull away or hold tighter. "No. Yes. I don't know!" His frustration grew. "All I do know is that's the reason why I _have_ to make the battle shell. So I can be prepared for when things go wrong! You three don't ever have to worry about getting really hurt if you land on your shells, but I do! I just want to keep up with you guys." _Maybe even push ahead of you one day_.

"Why didn't you ever tell us you felt this way?" Raph asked sadly.

"I didn't know how," Donnie admitted, fidgeting with Mikey's fingers between his hands. "I'm just tired of not being able to do the things you guys can. If I did find a way to tell you I didn't want," he took a moment to look at his brothers, seeing the sorrowful gazes directed at him, "I didn't want you looking at me like that. I'm the second oldest! I don't want—"

"Hey, we get it," Leo said, lightly punching Donnie's shoulder.

Mikey pushed his way into Donnie's lap and gave him a hug, cheering, "You're still the super smart one, Donnie!"

Raph smiled and spread out his arms in a 'look at that' gesture. "See? You've got two younger brothers who think the world of you, and you've got a big brother who's gonna do his best to watch out for you. We love you, Donnie. No matter what."

The frustration slowly melted away from his brothers' understanding, his brothers _trying_ to understand. Donnie cracked a smile and hugged Mikey back. Leo carefully wrapped his arms around both of them. Raph pulled all three of his little brothers into a giant hug, careful that Donnie's stitches weren't aggravated in any way. Finally, Donnie could release his fears of loneliness and abandonment. He had his brothers back.

"I love you guys, too."


	9. Chapter 9: A Father's Duty

**Hey, everybody! I got a nice update for you! It's got feels and fatherhood... I don't have much else to say other than that. We got an epilogue to go and she's done. My first multi-chapter fic will be complete. I'm both excited and sad. I hope you enjoy and check out tallgirl14 on tumblr. Her art inspired this whole story to begin with!**

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Chapter Nine: A Father's Duty

Splinter watched his sons cuddle in the middle of Purple's lab. After the way Purple's apology towards his older brother had gone the first two times, the single dad of four decided to keep a close eye on Red's attempt. It was a relief for him to see his sons finally worked out their issues, and a heavy weight was lifted from his heart. However, Splinter still had to do his job as their father. After the week they had been through and the _day_ Donatello had to endure, he had to make sure his four young boys _never_ had a falling out like this again. Walking into the lab properly, Splinter was determined that his sons recovered from their ordeal.

"Good to see you four getting along," Splinter said, startling the four turtles into turning around.

"Pops!" Raph shouted in surprise. "Donnie and I talked and everything!"

"We made things good again," Donnie chimed in. "All of us did."

Splinter nodded approvingly. His sons were still happily hugging each other and showed no signs of stopping. Good. "Good, good. Now then…" Splinter's gaze hardened, "you are all grounded!"

"What?!" Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey shouted in disbelief.

"Don't even try it!" Splinter countered, pointing at them sternly. He relaxed his pose and said, "I am overjoyed that you have reconciled with each other, but I'm _also_ disappointed in how you all handled the situation."

"But Dad—" Mikey started to whine.

"No 'buts,' Orange!" Splinter cut Mikey off. "You trashed your room and peed on your brother's backpack twice." Mikey ducked his head into his shell to avoid Donnie's stink eye as Splinter turned his gaze to Leo. "You repeatedly left the Lair without telling me and snuck into your twin's lab without him present." Leo looked away from Splinter when the rat-dad went on to scrutinize Raph. "You went to the surface unsupervised several times _and_ made a bigger mess of the dojo than it already was." Raph squeezed his brothers a little tighter as Splinter finally looked to Donnie. "And you made an assumption based on only half of the facts and let your mistake fester for a week."

All the boys wilted under their father's scolding. Their group hug got a little tighter, enough that Donnie started feeling a pull on his stitches. They all knew they didn't handle the situation well, but they had hoped that the pain from the bitter experience would've been punishment enough. Splinter pointing out their blunders on top of grounding them was really the sour cherry on top. After a minute, Leo's guilty face morphed into confusion.

"Wait, what do you mean Donnie only had half the facts?" Leo asked. "Donnie doesn't do _anything_ halfway through, Pops."

Splinter sighed heavily. He should've known Leo would point that out. "Boys, I think it's time I told you about where you came from and how our family came to be." The poor rat-dad watched his sons lean away from him with looks of horror mixed with disgust. He felt his left eye twitch. His sons really were killing him. "Not like _that_! Just—come with me."

Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey shared a glance before untangling themselves from each other. They followed Splinter to the living room. Whatever it was their father wanted to tell them about their family had stoked their curiosity. Splinter made sure they were settled in their beanbag chairs—Leo and Donnie shared one while Raph sat in another with Mikey draped over his shell—before going over to his private cabinet. The boys' eyes grew impossible wide. Splinter _never_ let them near his cabinet.

Splinter paused for a moment and looked at what he needed to show his sons. He was worried about how his kids would take the story he was about to tell them, but he was also frustrated with himself for a fight like this finally spurring him into sharing it with them. With a deep breath, Splinter returned to the turtles and placed a dark blue storage tub in front of them, rubbing anxiously it at one of the corners.

"About five years ago, you were all once normal turtles small enough to fit in this tub," Splinter said. Mikey gasped, and the other three leaned forward to inspect the container. "Purple, you were correct in that you are four different turtle species; however, you are all brothers through more than just adoption. Five years ago, your DNA was combined with the DNA of a single human, mutating you into half-turtle half-human creatures. You have been brothers— _are_ brothers—in every sense ever since that day. Please never doubt that again."

Donnie drew his knees to his chest and groaned, "I never thought about the DNA we were mutated with. I'm so _stupid_!"

Leo and Raph leaned against Donnie's sides, and Mikey patted Donnie's head. They had gotten all of the bad feelings out in the open already, and everything was forgiven. No one wanted there to be more negativity to be borne from this new information.

"Nope," Mikey disagreed.

"None of that," Leo added.

"Yeah, we _all_ messed up," Raph said, giving Donnie a nudge. "Besides, _none_ of us knew any of this."

Leo narrowed his eyes at the tub then looked at Splinter. "How did you know about this, Pops?"

Splinter barely held in his cringe. _Blue is being especially perceptive today._ "I-I was there when it happened. A fire broke out, and I had to carry you away in this tub."

Leo looked at Donnie, then both shared a glance with Mikey and Raph. As one, they turned to Splinter and asked, "What about the human?"

Splinter felt a sweat break out under his fur. He couldn't tell his sons the entire truth. Not while they were this young and such massive Lou Jitsu fanboys. They would never believe that he used to be a martial arts movie star, history of mutation or no. Even he had a difficult time wrapping his head around his change from tall, charismatic, and well-built to short, ratty, and… comfortable.

With a grimace, Splinter said, "The human… was in terrible shape after the mutation when the fire began. He…" He paused and shook his head. Splinter saw tears beginning to gather in his sons' eyes, and he patted each of their heads. "I've been taking care of you boys— _my sons_ —ever since. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. Maybe this whole mess could've been avoided, so I share some blame in your ordeal as well. You four are still growing and will have many fights ahead of you, but I _never_ want you to drag out your arguments like this ever again."

"Yes, Dad…" Donnie murmured. He leaned against Splinter's chest in a hug, and one by one his brothers followed his lead. Splinter happily held his sons close, nuzzling the tops of their heads.

After a moment, Splinter drew away, saying, "Alright, now that you know the truth, I want you four to clean up Orange's room while I make dinner. I'll come get you when I'm done."

"I don't need help cleaning my room," Mikey huffed as Splinter left for the kitchen. "It's not _that_ bad."

Donnie side-eyed Mikey. "Yes, it is."

Mikey grinned sheepishly. "Yeah… you're right."

"Alright, boys," Raph sighed as he stood up. "Let's go clean up."

Raph led the way to Mikey's room with its inhabitant still dangling from his shell. Once they were inside, Leo whistled at the carnage. Mikey always went all out with his temper tantrums, and his art work had suffered greatly for it. The four brothers started gathering up the crumpled and torn drawings, organizing the still salvageable pieces from things Mikey would ultimately have to redraw. That part didn't take very long at all; only two drawings had been spared Mikey's wrath.

After Mikey took a look at the scraps that he'd have to redo, he plopped himself in Donnie's lap and demanded Leo and Raph to pose for him. Since the boys were grounded and had nothing better to do, they humored their baby brother. That was how Splinter found them once he had finished dinner—Leo and Raph posing dramatically while Mikey sketched them with Donnie's chin on top of his head. For a moment they were all content, but Splinter needed to feed his kids.

"Good work cleaning up, boys," Splinter said looking around Mikey's much cleaner room. "Dinner's ready."

"One second, Dad," Mikey said, poking his tongue out to the side and glancing up at his models. "I'm almost done."

Splinter peeked over at Mikey's drawing and giggled. "It looks very nice, Orange. How long have Blue and Red been standing like that while you were drawing flowers?"

"Ten minutes," Mikey said as he colored in red petals on one of the flowers and Leo and Raph shouted indignantly.

"Mikey, what the heck?!" Raph said dropping his stance.

"Donnie, why didn't you say anything?" Leo demanded as he struck an even more dramatic pose.

Donnie smirked and shrugged. "I like watching Mikey draw."

"Alright," Splinter said fondly. "Now, let's eat dinner while it's hot."

The rat mutant ushered his sons out towards the dinner table where they had a loud and energetic meal together for the first time in a week. Splinter argued gently with Raph about taking too big of a portion on his plate at a time, and Leo and Mikey tried to foist some of their vegetables onto Donnie's plate but were caught in the act by the soft-shell. Leo told stories about the sewers that he explored and how he'd show them to everyone as soon as Splinter allowed them to leave the lair. Splinter told Raph that they'd all work together to clean up and repair the dojo once he made sure the scaffolding was sturdy. Mikey said that he had a gift in the works for Donnie so he would know that everything was good again. Donnie said that with his brothers' help his tech bo would be testable in a couple weeks and would like some help with ideas for future add-ons.

After they had finished eating, Splinter had Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey help him clean up. Leo and Mikey washed the dirty dishes, Donnie and Raph put them away, and Splinter stored the few leftovers that remained. It was quick work, but Donnie, Leo, Mikey, and Raph started nodding off towards the end of their work. When Splinter turned around to see why his sons were so quiet, he found Raph on the floor with Donnie and Leo slumped against him and Mikey sprawled across all their laps. With great care, and after taking a few pictures of how cute they are piled together, Splinter struggled to separate his sons from their group sleep without waking them. With one twin in each arm, Raph on his back, and Mikey wrapped in his tail, he took the turtles to their rooms as swiftly and silently as he could and settled them into bed. However, Splinter realized he wasn't as stealthy as he'd hoped when Donnie grabbed his tail.

"Dad?" Donnie yawned.

Splinter knelt by his son's pillow. "Yes, Purple?"

"Thanks," Donnie murmured, "for being our dad."

"It's my honor to be your father," Splinter said, and hugged the soft-shell as warmth filled him. He looked at the stitches running down Donnie's carapace and just barely ran a finger over them. "I'll take these stitches out in a few days. Your shell will have a scar, but it will heal." Splinter felt his son go rigid in his grip. When he pulled back to see what was wrong, Donnie was teary eyed and trembling. "Donnie?"

Donnie shook his head and whispered sadly, "Please don't be mad. I-I didn't mean to get hurt. I didn't want _any_ of this to happen."

Splinter quickly sat on the side of Donnie's bed and pulled his son into a hug, rubbing his shell as the young turtle clung to his robe. It reminded Splinter of how the day had started—Donnie breaking down in his lap, heartbroken from a mistake he feared he could never fix—and now it ended with his battered son believing he had wronged his father because of an accident. Donnie's shoulders shook from uneven breaths he took in his upset. Splinter held the soft-shell that much closer and hummed comfortingly.

"Shh, Donnie," Splinter gently hushed. "I was never mad. I was scared and worried for you, especially when you got hurt. I still am." He stroked his son's head, glad that it was clean, grit and grime free, as the too recent memory of it covered in gray white dust and blood flashed unbidden before Splinter's eyes. "I know this was all a big accident, but you did the right thing. You faced your fear and reconciled with your brothers." Splinter lifted Donnie's head to look him eye-to-teary-eye. "You have had a very long day today, and you are in pain. I want you to rest. Stay in bed tomorrow and heal." Donnie nodded but made no attempt to let go. Splinter smiled gently at his son and said, "I'll stay with you tonight if you want."

"Please stay," Donnie replied instantly.

With the request made, Splinter laid down beside Donatello, wrapping an arm over him. The soft-shell was careful to lay on his front even as he cuddled up as close to his father as he could. The two very quickly fell asleep. They only woke up when Raph, Leo, and Mikey came in to join them. Once the last newcomer was settled in, Splinter wrapped his tail around them all and bid them goodnight.

The next day, Raph, Leo and Mikey stayed with Donnie all day. Splinter made sure to tell them all that Donnie was to stay in bed and rest, and his brothers were determined to keep him entertained. Raph brought over all of his stuffed animals, Leo told stories and jokes that made his brothers groan, and Mikey shares his art supplies. Splinter checked in on the four every now and then, sometimes asking Raph, Leo, or Mikey to help him bring in food so they can all eat meals together. It would've been the best day Donnie had in the past week if his shell hadn't been killing him.

As the soft-shell lay in his bed finishing a sketch on a battle-shell modeled to have a DJ station at Leo's request, Mikey shoved a drawing under his nose. It was the family picture that Mikey had torn into three pieces and Donnie had taped back together. However, there was something new on it now. Written in sloppy print on the back was the phrase: "Even if we weren't related, that doesn't make us any less family or any less brothers."

"I had to change the first part of it because it turns out we _are_ related," Mikey said proudly. "But that's what you said to me, and it made me really happy. Thank you for being my big brother, Donnie."

Donnie smiled wide at Mikey's gift and pulled him into a side hug, saying, "Thanks for being my baby brother, Mikey."

When Splinter told him and his brothers that it was time for bed, Raph, Leo, and Mikey loudly complained that they weren't tired. However, their yawns gave them away, and Splinter herded them off to sleep. He gave Donnie a look that clearly meant that the soft-shell was expected to go to sleep as well before leaving. Shouts of 'goodnight's and 'I love you's, the distant buzz of a television set, and the humming of Donnie's lab and the New York life above them echoed in the Lair.

Donnie carefully put the drawing on his side table before burrowing underneath his blankets. As he drifted off to sleep, the soft-shell determined that he would frame Mikey's drawing the first chance he got. Donatello was happy that his home is loud again.


	10. Epilogue: Moving Forward

**And it's done! Victory! I'm so happy to have finally completed this story. Hehe, it took me a while, but it was well worth it! The show gave me way more material to add to what was already set up. I think it blended together nicely. Please leave a comment about what your favorite part of the story was! And let me know if there's anything I could improve upon (i.e. grammar, characterization, pacing, anything).**

 **Go check out tallgirl14 on tumblr! She's got great fanart of TMNT, Bob's Burgers, DnD OCs and more!**

 **Thanks for sticking it out with me! Stay safe, and see you in future fics!**

* * *

A week later had Donnie sitting on the edge of the bathtub with Splinter removing his stitches. The soft-shell winced as Splinter snipped and pulled at his back. It didn't really _hurt_ exactly, but the soft-shell wasn't comfortable with the process either. He was just glad he wasn't awake when the stitches were put in. His dad wasn't an expert at medical-surgical procedures, and sanitation wasn't guaranteed in the slightest. They lived in the sewers of New York after all.

"Are you almost done?" Donnie asked after a particularly painful tug.

"Almost, Purple," Splinter said. "Just a few more minutes."

True to his word, Splinter soon finished cutting out the stitches. He cleaned the healing wound and taped a gauze bandage over it. Satisfied that the task was done, Splinter lifted Donnie off of the tub and set him on the ground.

"All of the stitches are out," the rat-dad said to his son. "Your shell is still healing, so do _not_ strain yourself. No heavy lifting."

"Thanks, Dad," Donnie said as they walked out of the bathroom. "Raph, Leo, and Mikey already agreed to help me with any heavy-lifting in my lab, too."

"Good," Splinter nodded with a grin. "Now, go spend time with your brothers."

Donnie raced to his lab to find Raph, Leo, and Mikey waiting for him at the doorway. Leo glanced up from talking with Mikey and waved at their purple-clad brother coming towards them.

"Hey, Don," Leo said. "How's the shell?"

"The stitches are all out," Donnie said. "Dad said no heavy-lifting for a while. You guys ready to test out the tech bo?"

"Of course we are!" Mikey cheered.

"What exactly are we helping you test out?" Raph asked, following Donnie into the lab.

"I want to see if the initial features of the tech bo function properly," Donnie said. He examined the metal rod, nearly complete, on the table before him and his brothers. The soft-shell disconnected his tech bo from its docking station. He grinned and said, "Let's go!"

The four mutant brothers rushed to the main atrium to test out Donnie's newest invention. They spent hours taking turns using the tech bo's extending claw arms, scanners, and the rocket-booster that Donnie added last minute… He's eight. The soft-shell was bound to put in something dangerously awesome regardless of his current health. It also gave him a chance to use the flame retardant function when Leo accidentally set a pillow on fire.

Every test went off without a hitch, and Donnie took notes from his brothers and his own opinions on what he should add to it when he had the materials to upgrade it. Flamethrowers, tennis ball launchers, and buzz saws definitely made it onto the list. Splinter even mentioned a rocket-powered fist after recovering from the shock of seeing his sons flying around their home on the metal rod.

"You boys are lucky that you set up cushions," Splinter said with a twitching eyebrow. "I would hate to have to ground you again so soon."

Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey quickly cleaned up their mess and called the test run a complete success.

* * *

A couple months later, Donnie strapped his first battleshell onto his back. He had been able to get the… _stains_ out of his backpack with help from Splinter and Mikey, and the soft-shell was just glad that he kept everything in it zipped up in plastic bags. Living in a sewer meant that they ran the risk of floods. He would've hated it if his small collection of fuzzy dice and other odds and ends was ruined. He found most of them with Mikey, so the box turtle would've felt bad too.

The battleshell was heavy, much heavier than his old backpack. Donnie had expected as much, but he would find a way to lighten the load when he started making upgraded models. As it stood, his new form of defense was little more than a slab of domed purple metal. However, Donnie's brothers were right there with him plotting out what features to add to it first.

"I still say a DJ battleshell would be awesome for your first upgrade," Leo said, holding up a drawing of a purple blob rocking out for a crowd.

"No, no, no, it has to be a jetpack," Raph countered, showing off his own picture of Donnie with several metal arms coming out of his back.

"A pizza oven!" Mikey shouted. His drawing had their family eating freshly-cooked pizza from a brick pizza oven. There wasn't a battleshell design anywhere in the drawing.

Donnie smiled at the suggestion anyway. "Those are all great ideas, and I plan on using all of them…. Except I might just put in a food heater instead of a full-blown pizza oven." Mikey grinned and went back to drawing. "I don't have the parts for all of them right now, but I'll plot out the blueprints and specs in the meantime. I think the first thing I'm gonna make is a spider-shell, though. It would be _handy_ to have a few more arms. Don't you think?" He held up his own drawing of several metal arms coming out of his back.

"Yeah!" Raph and Mikey cheered.

Leo squinted at Donnie and muttered, "And you guys say _my_ one-liners are bad."

* * *

Seven years later, Donatello sat at a desk in his lab taping gauze to his left shoulder. He was really glad Raph had started filing his spikes when they were kids, otherwise the shallow cuts he received would've been much graver injuries. The soft-shell released a sigh and rubbed at the fading bruises on his exposed shoulders. He really needed to find a way to lessen the weight of his defense system.

"How're you feeling, Donnie?"

Donnie saw Raph leaning against the doorway in the mirror he was using to assess the injuries to his face. The snapping turtle looked pensive and concerned. Donnie wondered if he landed any hits that required medical attention. He doubted it.

"Fine," Donnie said, putting a bandage on his cheek. "It's not the worst injury I've ever had, Raph."

"Good, good," Raph mumbled. He stayed where he was, staring awkwardly at Donnie. Or more accurately, he was staring at his younger brother's carapace. "I… was just thinking about the first time your shell got really hurt…"

"Yeah?" Donnie asked. "That was a lifetime ago, bro." Why would the snapping turtle…? Oh. He suddenly realized that he never replaced his battleshell after their spar. Raph could see the years-old scar Donnie would forever carry on his back.

"I was also thinking," Raph said carefully, "about the… fight that led up to you getting hurt. Leo's right. We've got pride and anger issues."

"I guess we'll have to work on that," Donnie shrugged with a smirk. He shared a small laugh with his older brother before sobering a little. "But April comes first. Once she feels comfortable around us again, we can fix our issues together."

Raph came to the soft-shell's side, hovered his hand over the injured shoulder, and asked, "Does it still hurt?"

"My shoulder?" Donnie asked with a raised eyebrow. It was a fresh wound, but he wasn't going to be a baby about it. "I already told you—"

"No," the snapping turtle interrupted, "your shell. Does it still hurt from the scaffolding collapse?"

Donnie froze in shock. He stood up to face his brother and stuttered, "What? O-of course it doesn't hurt anymore. That was years ago!"

Donnie understood that Raph had felt awful about the accident from when they were kids, but it was an _accident_. Ever since that day, Raph had always treated him gently. Maybe that was why the snapping turtle always went easy on him during spars. It was frustrating and annoying!

"No pinching, tingling?" Raph asked as he inspected Donnie's past and present injuries. "Pain of any kind? Nothing?"

 _Raph really does have the biggest heart_ , Donnie thought fondly. He gave Raph's shoulder a friendly thump and said, "Big brother, my shell is fine. We're okay."

Raph relaxed and sighed, "Good." With a lighter tone, he said. "So I don't have to worry about you hurting yourself in anymore 'attempts' to save me."

"Now, I didn't say that," Donnie said airily. "I'm still going to watch your back, even at the cost of mine."

"Ugh!" Raph groaned in disbelief. He rubbed his head before letting out a huff of laughter. "Well, that figures. Just make sure it _doesn't_ cost you, alright?"

"What? Really?" Donnie asked. Usually, Raph wouldn't even entertain the thought of his younger brothers getting hurt for his sake.

"Yeah," Raph said. "I'm glad I can depend on you to have my back, even if I forget just how strong you really are."

Donnie smiled and shook his head. "I was for sure thinking that we were going to have another fight."

"I think we've had enough fighting for a while," Raph said, pulling Donnie into a side hug. "Don't you agree, bro?"

"I couldn't agree more, brother," Donnie replied.


End file.
